


Träumerei

by Fiorrella



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Online Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-11-18 04:33:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11283819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiorrella/pseuds/Fiorrella
Summary: Of all the absurd situations Yoshiko had imagined herself in before, she had not come evencloseto predicting to meet her best friend over an online game of Connect Four.(Or: an AU where Yoshiko and Riko meet each other online half a year prior to the events of the anime.)





	1. Chapter 1

Yoshiko was looking forward to high school.

Whenever she discovered the rare opportunity to reveal this, incredulous gazes were almost immediately thrown over to her, which she found absolutely _ridiculous_. Well, truth be told; it wasn’t those condescending expressions that bothered her, exactly - she was more than used to them by now, after all - but rather, it was the fact that everyone else in her year seemed to be dreading it.

She simply didn’t understand _why_.

There was so much to be hyping up for in high school: the brilliant sensation of growing up, the mature responsibility she had been practically _yearning_ to have for years, and - last, but certainly not least - the opportunity to _finally_ be rid of her dreadful middle school life that had been haunting her for, what, two and a half years now?

In any case, she hoped and prayed that her life would improve in _some_ way, because sitting at her computer after school, squinting at the familiar loading screen of Connect Four was absolutely _not_ Yoshiko’s definition of a good time.

She sighed, brushing her bangs from her forehead as she leaned over to punch in a user name: ‘yohane’. It had become somewhat of a go-to name for Yoshiko, now -- besides, she couldn’t be bothered to think up anything better ( _‘not like perfection can be improved upon’_ she thought smugly).

Speaking of which: if she could, she’d definitely set up a live stream in a simultaneous effort to both satiate her fans and relieve her boredom, but, alas; her mother had returned from work early, so she was stuck here. Playing Connect Four. She scowled. _Again._

The game eventually seemed to connect through, and Yoshiko was redirected to a private server between her and a stranger: ‘Sakura’, she observed with mild curiosity.

Hoping to God that this ‘Sakura’ person wouldn’t be a complete creep, Yoshiko mashed in a quick message on her keyboard.

 **yohane:** hey

Rarely, if ever, would her Connect 4 partner reply to her messages - she assumed they similarly wouldn’t have much of a life anyway if they were willing to play a game of online Connect 4, but apparently she was mistaken - yet she still insisted on sending a greeting every time. Yoshiko didn’t understand why they couldn’t just reply to a simple ‘hello’, but oh well. Maybe she could just chalk it up to the game developer’s _atrocious_ design choices. It took her twelve games to even realise you could send messages.

Her half-lidded eyes followed her cursor with disinterest as she languidly clicked on the far left circle displayed on the screen. The hole was promptly filled in with a vivid red, thus beginning the short and undoubtedly disheartening game of Connect 4. 

Not soon after this, a deafening _‘ping!’_ echoed from her speakers, just about scaring Yoshiko right out of her seat. She hastily screwed the volume button down to 0 -- _holy crap, they actually replied?_ \-- before checking on the private site chatbox.

 **Sakura:** Hello.

Yoshiko raised a mildly surprised eyebrow. She hadn't expected proper punctuation and, well, such a _concise_ tone from someone with the user name ‘Sakura’. She was expecting more emoticons and exclamation marks, you know? WIth a nonchalant shrug, she began tapping back on the keyboard. At least she got a reply, let alone a comprehensible one.

 **yohane:** do i even want to know why you’re on this website?

The circle above the one Yoshiko had chosen flashed a lime yellow. She immediately clicked on the hole on top of it, resulting in a small tower being built. She always did that; judging from the nonsensical keyboard smashes she often received in the chat after such a move, it pissed people off _way_ too much, so of course she did it whenever possible. A little petty, she knew, but this was _Yoshiko_. She had long since crowned herself the queen of pettiness. She raised her hand from where it was slumped on the mouse, held it in a sideways ‘v’ shape over her right eye, and began chuckling quietly -- her mother had had two hours of sleep that night; Yoshiko certainly didn’t want to disturb her, no matter how important her solitary celebrations were -- but menacingly.

As menacingly as she could while slouched in a stained hoodie and joggers, that is. 

Another notification shone up from the screen, and Yoshiko instantaneously abandoned her pose to peer at the message box.

 **Sakura:** Probably not.

 **Sakura:** What about you?

Someone who was both replying to her messages _and_ interested in talking to her? The corners of her lips curled up. She didn’t consider herself to be a conversational person in the slightest, but hey -- this was a fair distraction from her homework. Yoshiko would choose to talk with a stranger than have to work out some completely pointless algebra questions, _any_ day.

She was busy bending over her keyboard and typing out a reply when three more notifications flashed up.

 **Sakura:** Why are you on thsi site, I mean. Sorry.

 **Sakura:** this*

Sakura had also completed her turn on the game, having chosen a spot on the _completely opposite side of the board_ , to Yoshiko’s childlike disappointment. She paused, reading over their messages for a brief second before mashing out a (hopefully) light hearted answer.

 **yohane:** you destroyed our tower!!!

Was that too much for someone whom she had only just met…? Would her tone even carry across? She shrugged. Oh well; it’s not like they’d ever meet again. She pressed on the circle above the one Sakura had just placed, just for the hell of it.

 **yohane:** and yeah, i know. i’m pretending there isn’t a giant pile of hw sitting on my desk and am using this site to distract me

 **yohane:** it works okay most of the time

To Yoshiko’s amusement, the space above the tile she’d just placed immediately turned yellow.

 **yohane:** thanks

 **Sakura:** No problem ^^ I wasn’t aware that we were building a tower together.

Yoshiko snickered behind her hand as she clicked on another circle, but it wasn’t malicious. As awkwardly humorous as she found the innocent stranger’s actions, she found it quite pleasant that somebody was actually going along with her antics for once.

'Awkwardly Humorous'. She smiled wryly; throw a ‘weird’ in their somewhere, and you’d pretty much have summarised her in three words.

 **Sakura:** I’m also trying to ignore my homework, if that’s any reassurance.

 **Sakura:** But you do sound like you do things like this pretty often...is school okay for you over there?

Yoshiko thought it was a little depressing that some stranger she had talked to for less than a minute was more concerned about her well-being than most people in her life.

 **yohane:** you mean you don’t do it a lot??? well...you DO reek of a good student

She hesitated, rapidly realising how antagonistic she had sounded.

 **yohane:** wait shit that wasn’t an insult or anything, just an observation. sorry 

 **yohane:** but apart from constantly having to ignore and glare at shitty ppl, school’s okay. lessons fucking SUCK though. i only really try for my mum

 **yohane:** what about you?

The Connect Four board lit up with a new move notification from Sakura, but Yoshiko had pretty much given up on it -- talking to this person was proving to be far more fun than playing the repetitive, mundane game, especially since they seemed to be fairly interested in her.

 **Sakura:** No, it’s okay. You’re right if by ‘good’, you mean ‘well-behaved’. And I try not to do it too often. I don't want to get into any bad habits.

 **Sakura:** That...really doesn’t sound okay at all. Sorry if I’m overstepping my boundaries, but what exactly makes your school so bad?

 **Sakura:** My school’s okay. We get a lot of sightseers for some reason, but I don’t see the appeal. I’m just an average girl in an average class in an average school. The only places I particularly like are the music room (it has a grand piano!), and...maybe the quad? It’s nice when the cherry blossom trees are blooming, like they are now.

 **yohane:** hah i’m probably gonna contaminate you or something then. i’m the literal DEFINITION of bad habits. i eat whole chocolate boxes within an hour

Her hands hovered over the keyboard as she thought to herself over how to reply to their question. What _could_ she say?

 **yohane:** i dunno how to explain. my school’s full of people who’ll laugh and point fingers at anyone weird, which happens to be me in this case. no one ever comes up and says smth, it’s just those weird annoying laughs and looks, you know?

She wasn't not sure why someone as introverted as her was opening up so easily to some person on the Internet. Someone who could very possibly be a _murderer_ , for all she knew.

 **yohane:** you have sightseers at your school??? AND you play the piano?? a GRAND piano??? sorry, but you and your school are sounding very not average atm

 **yohane:** also, you’re a girl? nice

Yoshiko stared at the screen. Holy _crap_. Talk about creepy.

 **yohane:** not in a weird way!!

 **yohane:** i mean like we’re both girls so that’s cool. one thing in common

 **Sakura:** It’s fine! I get what you mean. But you should't eat chocolate boxes in an hour.

She breathed out a sigh of relief she hadn’t been aware was even pent up. _‘At least one potential friendship you haven’t managed to inadvertently screw up, Tsushima’._

 **Sakura:** No offense, but your school sounds horrible. My school might be like that too, I don’t know. I don’t stick out enough to be the subject of stuff like that.

 **Sakura:** I don’t know about my school, but trust me, I’m very average.

Yoshiko frowned, narrowing her eyes. She didn’t know whether it was intentional or not, but Sakura sounded quite self deprecating.

 **yohane:** yeah it is horrible. i hope high school is better

 **yohane:** you shouldn’t put yourself down so much btw. because i’ve only talked to you for like 5 mins but i think you're pretty cool

She wasn’t sure if someone like her - someone who was still acting and playing around like a five year old - had any right to lecture someone on self-confidence.

Sakura’s reply and Connect Four move both took far longer this time, and after a few minutes painstakingly ticked by, Yoshiko had sighed, kicking herself off her computer to hunt for her headphones, which were...somewhere in her room. Once she had sufficiently recovered them, she collapsed back onto her chair, stabbing the cord into the speakers, and half-heartedly began wading through music on YouTube. Yoshiko huffed again, glaring sullenly at the sheets of untouched homework carelessly spread over her desk. _Truly_ the Devil’s work. Well, as long as Sakura wasn’t replying, this was as fair as a time to get it out of the way.

It was a good fifteen minutes of lip chewing and exasperated groaning before she received a reply.

 **Sakura:** I’m sorry for not replying! My parents needed me for something.

Yoshiko let out a soft sigh of relief. She would never admit it, no way in hell, but she _was_ pretty scared that she had scared Sakura off.

 **yohane:** no worries. i actually managed to get some of my homework done while you were gone, so that's good i guess?

 **Sakura:** Well, then maybe I should leave you alone again. I also see you built a tower while I was gone.

 **yohane:** *we built a tower. and pleeeease don’t leave me alone with algebra

 **Sakura:** :)

 **Sakura:** About the messages you sent earlier while I was gone: are you still in middle school? And I’m sorry; it’s become somewhat of a habit for me. Thank you, though.

Yoshiko paused, fingers hovering over the keyboard. Was it a good idea to reveal her age? Sakura already knew she was in middle school, and judging from her wording choice, she seemed to be older than Yoshiko. She thoughtfully chewed on the inside of her cheek before tapping out a tentative reply.

 **yocchan:** np. yeah, i’m graduating this year. what about you?

 **Sakura:** I’m in my first year of high school.

To her relief, Sakura seemed to have no qualms about revealing her age, and she was thankfully very close in age to Yoshiko.

_**Sakura** has won the game!_

**Sakura:** Connect four!

Sure enough, a line of yellow circles had been lined up diagonally on the playing board. Yoshiko huffed in exasperation, but she couldn’t help allowing the corners of her lips to twitch up.

 **yohane:** damnit!!

 **Sakura:** I should reconsider my career choice as a pianist. I always knew being a Connect Four player was my life calling.

This time, Yoshiko made no effort to hide her amusement. She chortled freely, fingers nimbly typing in a rapid reply.

 **yohane:** i hate you

 **yohane:** but holy fuck. you want to be a pianist? that's crazy. you must be talented as hell

 **Sakura:** I guess. I wouldn't say I'm talented, I just love playing the piano a lot.

 **yohane:** yea i can understand why. piano’s really nice. i wish i could play it

 **Sakura:** You like classical music? I thought that you’d be into death metal or something, with the name Yohane.

 **yohane:** agsytsvys RUDE. yohane isn’t even my real name!!

 **Sakura:** Don’t worry, Sakura isn’t mine either. But on the topic of piano, I can teach you if you want?

 **yohane:** hahaha good luck

 **Sakura:** Well, if you want me to, that is.

Yoshiko’s heart stopped. This stranger was genuinely offering to teach her piano? She was willing to teach someone she only just met today? Don’t misunderstand; Yoshiko was _totally_ down for piano lessons, but man -- as much as she liked Sakura, the whole thing seemed a little _too_ good to be true.

 **yohane:** wait really?

 **yohane:** i mean, sure, i do wanna learn. but how’s it gonna work?? it's not gonna be easy with you living hell knows where

 **Sakura:** ...I haven't really given it much thought either, to be honest.

She snorted, almost dropping her pen on the floor in the process.

 **yohane:** dork

 **Sakura:** Don’t call me that :(

 **yohane:** dork. but well, i have a keyboard somewhere. it’s probably older than my grandparents, but that should be okay to learn on right?? and we can just exchange social media info or smth yeah? i refuse to be taught piano over a freaking connect 4 server

 **Sakura:** That sounds fine. Social media info?

 **yohane:** oh my god. surely even a caveman like yourself has skype or discord or SOMETHING

 **Sakura:** A caveman?? I’m only a year older than you!

 **yohane:** you sure don’t seem like it considering you don’t even have SKYPE

 **Sakura:** I never said I didn’t! My username is bichiisukecchi.

 **yohane:** what. how do you even pronounce that

 **Sakura:** Just add me.

Smiling just the _tiniest_ bit - she thought it was still pretty much unnoticeable, really -, Yoshiko minimized the tab and opened up Skype, to which she was already logged into. She hastily removed the icon of her dressed up in fallen angel attire, instead replacing it with an innocent (hopefully), lone, black feather. She crossed her fingers, praying that Sakura wouldn’t think too much of it, before searching in her username and sending a friend request.

 **yohane:** you got me? my name’s yohane like on here

 **Sakura:** Yeah.

A sky blue notification slid up onto the screen, confirming that Sakura had indeed accepted her request.

 **yohane:** just checking but. you ARE biichiisukechii right??

 **Sakura:** bichiisukecchi* But yes, I am. Why?

 **yohane:** so i can exit this server because sorry. but there’s hw i gotta get done and that’s not gonna happen if i keep talking to you all day

 **Sakura:**  Oh yeah, I have to do mine, too.

 **yohane:** yeah

She tilted her head contemplatively. Was that quite the right note to end on?

 **yohane:** it was nice talking to you!

That should hopefully do it.

 **Sakura:** Likewise. Good luck with your homework!

 **yohane:** same to you :D

_**yohane** has disconnected from the server._

 

* * *

 

In a city that was merely two hours away from Numazu, yet so, so _different_ , a girl with long, wine red hair sat at her dimly lit desk, dutifully scrawling away in a pale pink notebook. Moonlight shone through her padded curtains, softly bouncing off her immaculately wiped piano and scattering faint white particles over the surface.

Light spilled across her floor as the door creaked open, her mother noiselessly sticking her head in. “Riko-chan?” she called over to her daughter.

The girl obediently took her headphones off -- listening to music while studying was much easier than having to suffer through the raucous noise of the street outside --, the all too familiar, lilting chords of Nocturne Op. 9's second arrangement fading from her ears. “Don't worry, I’ll be done soon,” she reassured, absent-mindedly shuffling through her flash cards.

“Alright.” Her mother nodded, “Make sure to go to bed before midnight, okay?”

“Okay.”

Seemingly satisfied with her daughter's affirmation, she shut the door behind her, whisking herself away just as abruptly as she had made her appearance. The girl turned back to her school work, pulling the headphones back over her head-- oh, the song had changed to...Shostakovich. Romance, if she wasn’t mistaken. She hummed along blissfully to the rich, heartfelt melody of the violin, eyes crinkling ever so slightly at the corners.

It had been a while since she had felt so at peace.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaggghhh i hate writing first meetings. tbh, i'm... not too happy with this. it feels kind of disjointed, you know? i've poured over this all day and made a ton of changes, but i think i just generated even less flow and more typos .__.
> 
> on another note, nocturne op 9 no 2 and romance are both really great pieces! if you're into classical music then you've probably already listened to the former, but shostakovich's romance is also beautiful. i'm gonna stick a load of classical music into this fic, and i do wholeheartedly recommend all of them~
> 
> thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

  
If there was a point to school, Yoshiko certainly didn’t see it.

When she said middle school sucked, she meant it _sucked_. As in, it _really_ sucked. Not only was she stuck in a boisterous class of seemingly incompetent monkeys, but they also had a seating plan.

A seating plan! How old were they, _five?_

Thankfully, she was still sat at the back, but not in her ideal position. Yoshiko was, irritatingly enough, only one desk away from the one next to the window, so she had to make do with discreetly staring over the head of her classmate -- who, to her relief, mostly napped through lessons. The view of the school yard was barren - so much so that Yoshiko swore up and down she’d see tumbleweed bouncing across right before her eyes one day - but it was far more entertaining than whatever aimless lesson her teachers had planned.

Said teachers also had the most tiresome habit of constantly picking on her whenever possible.

“Tsushima-san,” her maths teacher called out -- speak of the devil. She inwardly groaned, reluctantly twisting her head back around to face him. He tapped the chalkboard impatiently with his pointer stick, signalling to a series of numbers scrawled on in white. “Since you’re apparently so intelligent that you don't need to pay attention-” a low rumble of chuckling spread through the classroom, “-what’s this sequence called?”

She burned at the injustice - there was a student snoring right next to her, _for God’s sake!_ \- but nonetheless turned her attention to the numbers on the board. _‘1, 3, 6, 10, 15…?’_ The pattern was easy enough to spot, but the _name?_

“Um,” she started, immediately cringing at just how awkwardly that came out. It didn’t help that practically everyone in the room had swivelled around to bore their eyes into her. “The…” Yoshiko’s pupils darted around the room, flailing for a coherent answer. “The Fibonacci sequence?” she bluffed; that was the only mathematical pattern she was aware even _had_ a name.

“Incorrect.” The teacher huffed it out without even skipping a beat, clearly having already expected her to get it wrong -- how rude! Well, Yoshiko _could_ see his point; she would hardly consider herself a diligent student, let alone a knowledgeable one. “Tsushima-san, if you'd been listening, you’d know that this is called a Triangular Number Sequence. It comes from a pattern of dots that form a triangle, like so…”

Yoshiko drew out a sigh, staring back out of the window in a poor effort to block out the droning of the teacher.

“Why does Tsushima-san even come to school if all she’s gonna do is ignore people and slack off in class?” she overheard her neighbour whisper.

 _‘Isn’t it depressing,’_ she thought to herself glumly, propping her chin on her hand, _‘that the only person who likes me is apparently a stranger I met a day ago?’_

 

* * *

 

Maths crawled by at an excruciatingly slow pace, but lunchtime eventually came around. The classroom was the pure _definition_ of annoying at breaks; her classmates’ shouting, rubbers being thrown from desk to desk, and the screech of the door being violently opened and shut did nothing but grate on Yoshiko’s patience.

As such, she vastly preferred wandering up to the school’s much more peaceful roof and eating her typically store bought lunch up there. It was a struggle to eat with the weather, sometimes (leftover rice and curry somehow tasted even _worse_ with hair accidentally mixed into it), but hey: Yoshiko was desperate.

Besides, there was actually signal at the top of her school, so she at least stay entertained through her phone.

 _‘Time to eat a stone cold one dollar panini,’_ she stared dismally at the offending meal. _‘Hooray.’_

Surprisingly, the panini was alright. Sure, the bread was soft and the texture was akin to rubber, but it didn’t taste _bad_ , per se, just a little...flavourless. Yoshiko chewed on it nonchalantly, expertly pulling her phone out of her back. She flicked down on the screen and turned her data on, scrolling through her news feed with little to no interest.

Numazu was okay-- hell, Yoshiko would even go ahead and say she even liked it. It was pretty, and being so close to Mt Fuji was pretty damn cool, but it was so boring, especially Uchiura. The news feed was always so mundane and empty that she didn’t know why she even bothered checking it in the first place.

Ripping out another chunk of the panini with her teeth, she closed down the app, her fingers instead hovering over the icon of the dull rhythm game she generally tended to play during lunch. Yoshiko was impatiently tapping her phone on her leg as she waited for the game to pass the loading screen - it lagged _ridiculously_  when she used her data - when she felt a startling buzz against her thigh.

 **biichisukecchi:** Hi. How has your day been?

She almost choked on the bread in her haste to answer.

 **yohane:** awful. what about you? you’re bored at lunch too, huh??

The reply was almost instantaneous.

 **biichisukecchi:** Same. I felt like just dropping dead in class...but we have finals soon, and I really don’t want to lose marks.

 **biichisukecchi:** Yeah, very bored. I’m even sacrificing my data for you.

Finally devouring the remains of her panini, Yoshiko stood up briefly to brush the crumbs off her uniform before sitting back down cross-legged, attention fully concentrated on her phone.

 **yohane:** hmm, you really are a diligent student. you’d be a good little demon~

 **yohane:** come! sacrifice your power to yohane! ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 **biichisukecchi:** ...Is it just me, or are you REALLY different today??

Yoshiko laughed. Not a forced cackle -- not a Yohane laugh. A genuine, _happy_ laugh.

 **yohane:** nah i’m always like this. i was just nicer to you yesterday cause i didn’t know you. you’ve signed an indestructible contract with me. now let us set off to the depths of hell, little demon!

 **biichisukecchi:**...I have made a grave mistake.

 **yohane:** ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 **biichisukecchi:** -_- Why did I offer to teach you the piano? Why did I think it would be a good idea?

 **yohane:** maybe you’ll meet mozart in hell

 **biichisukecchi:** I HATE YOU SO MUCH. And Mozart did NOT go to hell, thank you very much!

It really was nice to have someone play along for a change, if what Sakura was doing could even be considered that. But she wasn’t being insulted for once, and seeing Sakura loosen up so quickly right before her eyes made Yoshiko smile.

 **yohane:** you don’t know that. and hey, off topic, but where DID your username come from??

 **biichisukecchi:** I do know that! And it’s...a really complicated play on words. Don't be curious.

 **yohane:** i'm totally curious, butokay. what are you eating right now?

 **biichisukecchi:** ...You switch topics really randomly, you know that?

 **yohane:** what can i say, i’m a random person

 **biichisukecchi:** I can tell. But, I’m eating the chicken and egg sandwich I made last night. It’s delicious!

Yoshiko almost dropped the phone out of her hand.

 **yohane:** woah woah woah, hold the fuck up

 **yohane:** you make your own food??

 **biichisukecchi:** ...Yes?

It took her some time to process that. A student - a first year at high school, meaning she had to be sixteen at _most_ \- making their own food? She snorted. That was a level of responsibility Yoshiko would _never_ be able to achieve.

 **yohane:** man, you really are perfect. you’re a good little demon ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 **biichisukecchi:** I’m far from perfect, but thank you. I’m a little concerned though...what do you eat?

 **yohane:** cold, store bought stuff you can get for barely anything, of course. delicious!

Sakura took far longer with her answer this time around. With a small huff, Yoshiko sprang to her feet, picking up the mess she had made and skipped over to the bin, throwing the scrunched up panini wrapper in. To her relief, she didn't miss the shot like she usually did. 

Even by the time she came back to her seat, no notifications had appeared on her screen. Yoshiko’s shoulders heaved in disappointment, but oh well; Sakura’s lunch break had probably ended. Knowing what type of person Sakura was, she probably put her phone away as soon as the lunch bell rang.

That was enough to twitch her lips back into a smile.

 

* * *

 

“I’m home,” Yoshiko mumbled to herself as she closed the door behind her, thus beginning her daily routine of erratically jumping around in a futile attempt to remove her school shoes. She liked to call it "The Shoe Dance".

After a few seconds of hopping around, she realised her shoes were probably not going to come off, and, with a pained groan, she reluctantly pried them off with her fingers. She blinked at the pair of black kitten heels neatly tucked to the side. _‘Huh? Is she home already?’_

Yoshiko dropped her satchel at the foot of the staircase, trotting up to the kitchen and creaking the door open. “Mum?”

Sure enough, her mother was standing at the sink, absent mindedly scrubbing at the dishes. She started at Yoshiko’s voice, turning around to look at her. Yoshiko pretended not to notice the poorly masked bags under her eyes. “Oh, Yoshiko-chan,” her face broke into a tired smile. “You’re back early.”

“‘Could say the same for you,” Yoshiko stepped into the kitchen, pausing to sniff at the unfamiliar scent in the air. “Oh-- are you cooking? What is it?”

“Gyoza,” was her mother’s reply, and Yoshiko hoped she didn’t immediately blanch at the idea. She didn’t have anything against gyoza - it was quite nice, actually - but her mother’s cooking was...not something you’d ideally want to experience.

“That’s nice,” Yoshiko lied. She just didn’t have it in her to tell her mother that no, her cooking wasn’t nice -- it was god _awful_. “Will it be done soon?” The sooner she’d get it done with, the better.

“Hmm,” her mother mused to herself. “Maybe?” She fingered the dish cloth thoughtfully. “I’m not really sure. I’ll call you down when it’s done.”

‘ _Oh boy,’_ Yoshiko thought dryly, her stomach already turning in circles. _‘I can’t wait.’_

“I can’t wait,” she voiced out loud, hoping it didn’t sound as sarcastic as she had internally intended it to be. “Then, I’ll be…” she awkwardly gestured behind her at the stairs. “Call me if you need anything, okay?” Her mother gave her a small smile in return.

Yoshiko shut the door behind her, letting out a tight sigh of relief. She loved her mum, she really did -- it was just a little...weird to talk to her sometimes, since they never really had the opportunity to hang out much, what with her mother’s (far too busy, in Yoshiko’s opinion) work schedule. But she couldn’t complain; her mum was the one paying for their bills, and she looked so distraught whenever work was mentioned that Yoshiko felt too guilty to even bring the topic up at all.

Well - in the most non-cynical way possible - Yoshiko didn’t mind too much; she was used to being alone. She just hoped her mother wouldn’t work herself into the ground trying to support the two of them.

Fishing her phone out of her schoolbag, she connected through to the WiFi as she dragged her belongings back up to her room. Sure enough, a notification pinged up right away, dating back to a few hours ago.

 **biichisukecchi:** I’m so sorry for leaving you again! These girls wanted me to help out with something. You should really get into better eating habits, though. Making your own food is cheap and delicious.

 **yohane:** nahh it’s fine. i’m way too lazy to cook my own food

 **yohane:** speaking of which, PLEASE help

 **yohane:** my mum came home early today which is awesome, don’t get me wrong

 **yohane:** but she’s making gyoza for me and her cooking skills are HORRENDOUS but i always feel bad and end up eating it!! helppp

After checking that the array of texts had delivered properly, Yoshiko got to work on setting up her computer; it took _way_ too long to start up. She was saving up for a new one since it was the only owned device she could play games on, but it was much harder than she had expected. She wrinkled her nose in disgruntlement -- it wasn't _her_ fault the nearest store had decided to put all their PC games on sale while she was saving!

Thankfully, today seemed to be a good day for her computer, because it was up and whirring in virtually no time at all. Yoshiko spent her time idly grinding for EXP, chin perched in hand and one earbud in in, blaring in a familiar pop track through her left ear (Yoshiko would rather die than publicly admit it, but modern pop music was pretty good).

She was in the middle of a particularly difficult battle when a deafening _‘pop!’_ exploded in her ear. Next to her, her phone vibrated sympathetically. Yoshiko groaned, pulling up the MMORPG’s menu and gingerly cupping her left ear. She _really_ needed to adjust the Skype notification settings.

 **biichisukecchi:** Is it really that bad…? Does it make you sick?

Yoshiko made sure the server’s settings were on mute before replying.

 **yohane:** YES jesus christ. it doesn’t make me feel sick, it just tastes reeeally bad and mostly like rotten eggs. she also doesn’t use enough chilli powder

 **biichisukecchi:** Why don’t you cook alongside her, then? To show her how to...not make it taste like rotten eggs? And who puts chilli powder in gyoza??

 **yohane:** believe me, i would, but she gets really grumpy whenever i try to help. something about me messing up the kitchen or whatever, when she makes just as much mess as me!! gyoza with chilli powder is actually really nice

 **yohane:** everything tastes better with chilli powder! fiery like hell

At this point, Yoshiko had pretty much abandoned her grinding -- switching between the windows every minute was irritating. Instead, she browsed through the forum servers, spectating the various spats with mild amusement. People really _were_ easily riled up on the Internet, huh?

Another Skype notification popped up on the screen.

 **biichisukecchi:** Yohane-san...for some reason, I’m getting the impression that you’re as bad as a cook as your mother.

 **yohane:** rude!! i’m an amazing cook!!! better than gordon ramsay himself!

 **yohane:** and you call me yohane-san? that’s kind of cute, sakura!

 **biichisukecchi:** _“Sakura”?!_

Yohane snorted, hiding her smile behind her hand.

 **yohane:** have you forgotten already? i thought you liked the name sakura. all that about cherry blossom trees at your school, and it was your connect 4 server name too

There was a brief wait between Sakura’s messages, and Yoshiko flipped back over to the forums, aimlessly scrolling up and down the thread she had loaded up until another message came through.

 **biichisukecchi:** Cherry blossoms are pretty, but I used ‘Sakura’ because it's part of my surname, not because I'm obsessed with the flower.

 **yohane:** oh, well. i’m still gonna call you sakura

Her reply was immediate this time.

 **biichisukecchi:** WHY

 **yohane:** would you prefer me calling you biichisukecchi? that’s kind of a mouthful

 **biichisukecchi:** No!

 **yohane:** hmm but...flowers kind of fit your image, honestly. how about daisy? lily? sunflower??

 **biichisukecchi:** _‘Sunflower’??!_

 **yohane:** what about rose? like the colour of hell! ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 **biichisukecchi:**...Fine, you can keep calling me Sakura.

 **yohane:** ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 **biichisukecchi:** -_-

A soft knock at the door - presumably from her mum - interrupted Yoshiko’s gleeful victory, and she twisted around, calling out a nervous: “Come in!”

As expected, her mother stepped into the room. Her apron was still tied around her waist, but the proud smile on her face instantly made Yoshiko’s stomach plummet. “The gyoza’s ready, Yoshiko-chan,” she chirped, blissfully unaware of the vile curses being conjured in her daughter's mind.

“O-Okay,” Yoshiko mumbled. She licked her dry lips, “I’ll be down in a sec.”

 **yohane:** OH MY GOD HELP ME THE GYOZA’S READY

 **biichisukecchi:** Have fun, Yohane-san. :)

 

* * *

 

 **biichisukecchi:** Are you alright?

 **yohane:** no

 **yohane:** i’ve brushed my teeth five times but i can’t get the fucking taste of rotten eggs out of my mouth

 **biichisukecchi:** That means you’re okay. Why does it taste like rotten eggs when egg isn’t even an ingredient in gyoza?

 **yohane:** i don’t KNOW,, god

 **biichisukecchi:** Ah.

 **yohane:** ughhh

 **biichisukecchi:** Well, sleep tight!

 **yohane:** UGGGHHHHH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pianos?? where?? huh??? this story actually has a plot, i swear.
> 
> about mama yoshiko's cooking: i dunno if anyone reading this has played super danganronpa 2 (which is a really good game in a really good series, by the way!!) but there's this character (who's also a chuuni, actually) whose mum used to make the worst food and he'd painstakingly eat it to make her happy. i remembered that while i was writing this and xybddn YOSHIKO. we saw her mum for like a second in the anime, but i've always hc'd them to be really similiar, chuuni habits aside. they are two walking, talking disasters.
> 
> thank you for everyone who left a kudos/comment/bookmark last time by the way! they really do mean a lot! ;w;;
> 
> (i'm sorry if my writing seems different, somehow...? it tends to fluctuate very easily, ugh .-. )


	3. Chapter 3

**29/11**  
Yoshiko cursed loudly, toes clenching in pain as the box of Christmas decorations fell from the shelf and landed promptly on her foot. She glared at the offending box with gritted teeth, rubbing her sore toes gingerly. _‘Thanks a lot, Santa.’_

 **yohane:** i sacrificed my toes for you, little demon! be grateful

 **biichisukecchi:**??

 **yohane:** a box of christmas decor i was trying to get fell on my foot and it hurt

 **biichisukecchi:** Aren’t you meant to be looking for your rumoured keyboard?

 **yohane:** yes, but i got curious, okay!! i like christmas! you can’t blame me for getting excited! christmas is a staple celebration for a fallen angel like myself!

 **biichisukecchi:** It’s not even December yet and you’re getting excited…??

She scrunched her nose up, disgruntled.

 **yohane:** just. just leave me alone!!

Seemingly her feelings of anguish were picked up by Sakura, because her phone remained obediently silent. With a reluctant huff, Yoshiko resumed her search through her shed. Surprisingly enough, it was pleasantly clean for a place that hadn’t been touched for years -- naturally, there was a layer of dust covering, well, basically _everything,_ but apart from that, Yoshiko was sure that the shed was practically ready to live in! 

Maybe she could rent it to Sakura. She could come up to her kitchen to suffer through Yoshiko’s mum’s cooking with her. She wouldn’t laugh _then_.

 **yohane:** hey if you ever need a place to stay hmu because my shed is basically a b&b right now

 **biichisukecchi:** I think I’ll pass. Rats probably have better B &B standards than you.

 **yohane:** rude??!

 **biichisukecchi:** Back to piano: I can’t believe you only started looking for the keyboard a whole _two weeks_ after we first started talking

 **yohane:** it slipped my mind

Really though, it _had_ slipped her mind. Most of her obligations and hobbies slipped her mind when talking to Sakura; for someone who described herself as ‘boring’, she sure distracted Yoshiko a lot. She wasn’t sure yet if that was a blessing or a curse -- talking to Sakura was fun, and that was all she cared about.

Something black and what she thought to be...suspiciously keyboard-like caught her attention, and Yoshiko promptly bounded over to it - well, as best as she could inside a bathroom sized shed - with exuberant glee. She experimentally tugged at it. Thankfully, it wasn’t stuck _too_ much, and would hopefully be easy to remove from the shed.

Sure enough, it was light enough for her to carry out with a fair amount of ease. What she hadn’t expected, however, was there to be a _gigantic_ spider nestled on it.

Yoshiko yelped, stumbling back out of the shed and landing spectacularly on her hind. The keyboard laid clattered on the grass, the spider seemingly remaining undisturbed.

What an _entitled_ spider. She shuddered. Oh god; the more she stared at it, the more she realised how huge it was. Carefully maneuvering her phone out of her pocket, Yoshiko hammered out a message.

 **yohane:** SYYSBY THERE WAS A FUCKING TARANTULA ON THE KEYBOARD

 **biichisukecchi:** What???

 **yohane:** a tarantula. on the KEYBOARD!!

 **biichisukecchi:** We’re in Japan.

 **yohane:** :| you don’t believe me, do you

 **biichisukecchi:** Honestly? No, not at all.

Yoshiko’s eyes twinkled mischievously.

 **yohane:** oh? guess i just have to prove it to you then, hmm? ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 **biichisukecchi:**?

 **biichisukecchi:** Wait

 **biichisukecchi:** DON’T YOU DARE

Chuckling ecstatically to herself, Yoshiko pulled up the camera app and held her phone up, zooming the lens right in on the spider.

_**yohane** sent an image_

**biichisukecchi:** God, I hate you so much -_- That isn’t even a tarantula

 **yohane:** big spider, tarantula, same thing. they’re evil all the same! ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 **biichisukecchi:** How much mental gymnastics did you have to do to get to that conclusion??

 **yohane:** mental gymnastics is the only thing i’m good at

 **biichisukecchi:** Well, spiders and gymnastics aside, I think you’re good at a lot of things.

She hesitated at that, pulling away a little from her phone. Yoshiko had intended for her comment to come off as friendly banter, and she wasn’t sure what to make of the sudden tone shift in the conversation -- what was she meant to say to _that?_

 **yohane:** oh yeah? like what?

She crossed her fingers; nevermind the sweat already pooling under her armpits -- that hopefully came off as casually as she wanted it to.

 **biichisukecchi:** We haven’t talked for very long, but this is what I personally think, at least:

Sakura’s second reply took far longer this time - no doubt she was racking her brain to find something to compliment - but Yoshiko stayed put from her position on the ground, idly picking at the grass. She wasn’t going to try and fool herself -- she _was_ anticipating Sakura’s reply.

Her phone eventually buzzed, bringing with it a Skype message.

 **biichisukecchi:** You have a great sense of humour, your imagination is limitless, you’re good at putting your foot down when it needs to be done, you’re good at video games, you’re an amazing daughter, and - while I’ve only known you for a little over two weeks - I think you’re a pretty good friend as well!

Yoshiko let out a strangled noise that that was somewhere between a scoff and a gasp. Her cheeks burned, and she rubbed her hand over her flustered face. Whatever she had been expecting, it wasn’t _that._

What _had_ she been expecting? She racked her brain for an answer -- something a little less... _sincere?_

 **yohane:** oh jeez, okay!! that means a lot. even though i disagree with basically everything and i’m sure half of the stuff you listed doesn’t even count?? you were literally just complimenting me, but thanks. i don’t get to hear stuff like that a lot

 **yohane:** i do have a charming sense of humour though, i will give you that ψ(｀∇´)ψ ngl i thought literally all my jokes flew over your head. that, or you thought i was just stupid

 **biichisukecchi** : Well, I did say it’s what I personally think ^^ You’re making me even more embarrassed now, but you’re welcome. And you can be stupid sometimes, but that’s okay; I can be too! Besides, it’s part of your charm.

Yoshiko wrinkled her nose up at that, cheeks flushing into an even darker shade of red. _Charm?_ What _charm?_

 **yohane:** are you taking the piss??

 **biichisukecchi:** No!! I meant it as a compliment

 **yohane:** oh

She cringed, scowling at the ‘delivered’ icon checked above the message. _Another fantastic response by Yoshiko Tsushima, huh...?_ She hastily made to change the subject.

 **yohane:** brb, there’s a spider in need of being killed over here. wish me luck

 **biichisukecchi:** Good luck!

Yoshiko slid her phone back into her pocket with a relieved, yet somewhat still embarrassed, sigh. That was mortifying, to say the least, but it still felt...good, somehow. Her chest fluttered for a moment, her lips twitching into a grin as she pulled herself up, brushing the grass off the hem of her skirt.

As she had said: there was a spider in need of being killed.

 

* * *

 

Heaven only knew how exhausting learning an instrument is -- that was what Yoshiko was grumbling over and over in her head as she sidled into bed, wet hair splaying over her towel clad pillow. She knew how dangerous that was for someone like her (she got colds every _month_ ; it was ridiculous! The only thing stopping her from permanently wearing a flu mask was how well her terrible luck fit in with her Yohane persona), but she was tired and not in the mood for a solid half hour of blow drying. The best she could do was snuggle up tight under her duvet with crossed fingers.

Just as she had managed to worm around into a cosy position, her phone let out a teasing buzz. Yoshiko groaned, tumbling onto her side to check the time -- it was past midnight and she was receiving messages? Well, if Sakura was texting her this late on a school night - and she most certainly was, as her and Yoshiko’s mother were the only contacts recorded on her phone - it _had_ to be important.

 **biichisukecchi:** Hey, you’re probably asleep by now, but I forgot to tell you: good work today! :) Learning an instrument with a proper teacher is frustrating by itself...learning through an online friend must be hard.

Yoshiko smiled dopily, typing in a lazy reply through half lidded eyes.

 **yohane:** thanks lol, it was fun tho so dw. also can i have your number

 **biichisukecchi:** Glad to hear it! And...why??

 **yohane:** so i can text you in school

 **biichisukecchi:** You shouldn’t text in school…

 **yohane:** hurry UP i want to sleep!!!!

Moments later, a series of numbers flashed up on the screen. Yoshiko squinted at it doubtfully.

 **yohane:** this better not be a false number i swear

 **biichisukecchi:**...Who do you think I am??

She had a _lot_ of answers in reply to that, but she merely yawned them off, instead punching in the numbers onto her contact list. Yoshiko hesitated as she got to the name column, before tentatively typing out ‘Sakura’ and hastily saving the number. She stared at the phonebook menu; it was just _weird_ seeing another name on there besides her mother’s...but it wasn’t a bad feeling.

She clicked on the message feature, experimentally tapping out a text:

 **[00:31]** hello, little demon. devil emoji

Her eyes were just about shutting with fatigue when Yoshiko received her reply, her phone buzzing conformingly on her chest.

**[00:36]** You’re too tired to even use the actual emoticon? Well, don’t let me keep you up any longer. Good night! :)

Yoshiko’s eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled. Even though she was in this tiny, secluded corner of Numazu, where she had been by herself for almost all her life, she suddenly didn’t feel so alone anymore.

‘ _This is nice,’_ she mused to herself sleepily, an unsent good night resting at her fingertips.

 

* * *

 

** 30/11 **

Numazu was different to Tokyo in a variety of ways, and their respective mornings definitely happened to be one of them.

In Numazu, mornings were languid. You would wake up to the melodies of the native birds, and arrive to work or school or the supermarket or wherever the hell you needed to be with signs of breakfast still dotted around your mouth. Mornings in Numazu were cantabile.

Mornings in Tokyo, however, were completely different, and if there was a list of things that Riko disliked about Tokyo, mornings would definitely be up there.

You’d wake up an hour before you usually would -- not because you _wanted_ to, but because of the _stupid dog next door to you that just won’t goddamn shut up_. You’d shove all your equipment into a bag and triple check that it’s zipped properly so it won’t get mugged on the train, and you wouldn’t make a bowl of cereal or a plate of pop tarts or whatever -- you’d buy a sandwich at a store on the station, and try and eat it on the train without getting the sauce on the coat of the burly man squashed in next to you.

Mornings in Tokyo were full of spirit and vigor, and not in a good way.

Riko blinked back her yawn-induced tears, which just seemed to conjure some more, for some infuriating reason. She scowled, glancing at herself in the mirror, and-- yeah, she had bags under her eyes. She didn’t have the time nor energy to put on concealer, so hopefully nobody would notice. Not like they would in the first place; she seemed to just blend into the classroom walls the eyes of her fellow students.

“Riko-chan? Are you ready yet?” her mother yelled from downstairs.

She hastily zipped her bag up, triple checking it before throwing the strap over her shoulder. “I’m leaving now!” she called back. Grabbing a hair grip from her table, Riko threw one last look at the mirror before racing down the stairs, frantically pinning her bangs back in the process. She was busy nestling her feet into her shoes when her phone buzzed once-- no, _twice_ in her blazer pocket.

 **  
[08:52]** good night

 **[08:52]** ackkk i think that was from last night. sorry!!

Riko’s lips twitched up into her first smile of the morning. It stayed there all the way on her train journey to school, even when her left foot was trodden on by an unapologetic six foot man.

What a strange girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoshiko i get excited about christmas in june so don't worry, you're doing fine


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is different to others, in that it's solely in message form. i did plan for there to be a narrative (for the past three chapters, i've written out the key scenes or messages before adding in actions/monologues), but i feel like this flows much better without it. i'd wanted this to be combined with next chapter as well but that's going on it's own due to having narrative, so take this as a mini-chapter if you will~

**03/12**

**biichisukecchi:** Finals begin in a week! Have you been studying? 

 

 **yohane:** haha. no

 

 **biichisukecchi:**...Are you serious?

 

 **yohane:** yeah, i’ll just cram the night before. its nothing a fallen angel can’t handle ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 

 **biichisukecchi:** You shouldn’t cram. It’ll just get you stressed out.

 

 **yohane:** stress is an unknown dilemma to a fallen angel.

 

 **biichisukecchi:** God, I wish that were me...

 

 **yohane:** you're one of my little demons, so you’ll do fine!! u sound pretty chill about finals anyway

 

 **biichisukecchi:** Well, I’m excited to get it over with so I can concentrate on piano. Besides, I’ve been studying every day for the past month or so, so I’m not _too_ worried this time around :)

 

 **yohane:** god i wish that were me

 

 **biichisukecchi:** That _would_ be you if you had bothered to study.

 

 **yohane:** :| maths is really stupid okay

 

 **yohane:** it’s so pointless! nobody cares about why x^5 = 7y or some other bs. school’s just pointless in general

 

 **biichisukecchi:** I do agree, but your future depends on it.

 

 **yohane:** ugHHHH

 

 **yohane:** i should just become a beggar. at least they dont have to suffer through exams

 

 **biichisukecchi:** I’m not going to visit you and offer you money, if that’s what you’re wondering.

 

 **yohane:** orrr you could descend with me and become a fellow beggar...? ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 

 **biichisukecchi:** Over my dead body.

 

 **yohane:** its at times like this where i wonder if ur actually the satanic one out of us

 

 **biichisukecchi:** ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 

 **yohane:** okay, stop thats just really weird to look at

 

 **biichisukecchi:** Thank goodness. That was really weird to type as well

 

 **yohane:** im not sure if i should be offended or happy??

 

* * *

 

 

**05/12**

**[15:08]:** people are weird

 

**[15:13]:** Are you trying to be ironically philosophical or do you just not see the hypocrisy here?? 

 

 **[15:14]:** hey! im not THAT weird

 

**[15:16]:** I beg to differ 

 

 **[15:20]:** really tho. i saw this group of guys ganging up on another guy while i was walking past the grocery store. like, why do people do stuff like that?? i dont get it

 

**[15:23]** People like to feel superior to others, I suppose. It’s silly 

 

 **[15:28]** yea it really is. especially cause they do it only to people they think are “weird”. idk why they were all ganging up on that guy but there must have been a reason why, right??  a reason that set him apart from others. why cant people just leave each other alone? worst thing was i couldnt even do anything, lol. well i could, im just too much of a coward to actually do smth

 

**[15:29]** Don’t beat yourself up for it. It wasn’t anything you could control, and very, very few people would have stepped in, let alone someone as young as you (and me). I mean, adults don’t even step in… there’s a reason bullying is so common. It’s not your fault 

 

 **[15:33]** mm i guess

 

 **[15:34]** its just, bullying really sucks. i hope that guys okay

 

**[15:34]** I hope so too. 

 

* * *

 

**06/12**

**yohane:** the piano thing didnt really work out, huh. i dont play it very often

 

 **biichisukecchi:** You don’t have to play it regularly if it’s just a hobby.

 

 **yohane:** you sure?

 

 **biichisukecchi:** Absolutely! Unless you want to give up…?

 

 **yohane:** hell no!!

 

 **biichisukecchi:** :)

 

 **biichisukecchi:** It’s partly my fault, though. I’ve not got a lot of free time these days, so I can’t teach you that often. Speaking of which, I need to get back to studying. Wish me luck -_-

 

 **yohane:** yeah yeah, have fun with your geometry or whatever. send pics of your work after plz

 

 **biichisukecchi:** You’re in the grade below me though??

 

 **yohane:** please!! im BEGGING you 

  


 

 **yohane:** ohhhhh you better not be ignoring me

 

 

 

 **_biichisukecchi_ ** _sent an attachment ‘Dividing Polynomials.jpg’._

 

 **biichisukecchi:** You’re welcome.

 

 **yohane:** sbsvsygvssssss idk if thats even on the test but thanks!!

 

* * *

 

**10/12**

**[8:19]** Finals begin today.

 

 **[8:19]** please dont remind me

 

**[8:20]** How are you feeling?

 

 **[8:20]** like i want to sleep, drop dead, and throw up all at the same. so not good

 

**[8:21]** You’ll do fine; you’re a fallen angel, right? Don’t tell me you actually crammed all night?

 

 **[8:21]** yea i guess. i only got two hours of sleep

 

**[8:21]** …

 

 **[8:22]** i knooowwww okay! even the lady at the counter gave me a really pitying look when i bought my breakfast, and my mum made me drink coffee. i drank five fucking cups of coffee but i dont think its working

 

 **[8:22]** coffee is disgusting btw, dont drink it

 

**[8:23]** This is why you don’t cram the night before an important exam.

 

 **[8:23]** ;;

 

**[8:23]** Just try not to get run over on the way to school, okay?

 

 **[8:23]** the cars here travel at like 10mph

 

 **[8:24]** but thanks

 

* * *

 

**17/12**

**[15:01]** FINALS ARE FUCKINGG OVER IMMMDMJDJDJ

 

 **[15:01]** YESSSSSSSS

 

**[15:06]** Yeah! :) Do you think you did well? 

 

 **[15:08]** ugh, thanks for RUINING my happiness. but hopefully i havent failed, wbu?

 

**[15:09]** I think I did okay. It’s a little nerve wracking to think about, though. 

 

 **[15:09]** ikr?? especially since they post your results up for everyone to see. stupid teachers

 

**[15:09]** Right? That’s the worst part! Sometimes I hope I don’t do _really_ well so I can avoid being stared at by everyone else. 

 

 **[15:10]** yeah! you know, i doubt ill ever be in that position but people should mind their own business

 

 **[15:11]** gdygbcgb im still so happy though. winter holidays, here i come!!

 

**[15:11]** Oh, are you doing anything nice? 

 

 **[15:12]** does talking to you and playing video games count? otherwise, no. im just excited to not be forced into the torture chamber that is school. wbu?

 

**[15:12]** I’m going to spend my holidays crying on my piano, unfortunately. 

 

 **[15:13]** ah yes of course, you nerd. whats the occasion?

 

**[15:13]** I have an important piano competition in January that I need to practice hard for. 

 

 **[15:13]** sheesh. its one thing after another for you, isnt it? you may have even worse luck than your mistress!

 

**[15:13]** _Mistress?!_

 

 **[15:14]** good luck!

 

**[15:15]** ...Mistress? 

 

**[15:15]** …? 

 

**[15:15]** Well, thanks :) 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be the last chapter before Riko's canonical piano competition.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to republish this three times because ao3 kept fucking up :< sorry to those e-mail subscribed! ~~it still is screwing up for some reason...the publication date is set right but it's not being pushed to the front of the tag for some reason?? it's just staying on the fifth page (when i last updated). maybe it's because i'm in a different time zone now or something, but oh well; i don't want to spam up people's inboxes.~~
> 
> it's somehow working now??

** 25/12 **

Yoshiko had been a huge fan of winter ever since she could remember. Not just because it allowed her to wrap up in as many gothic layers of clothing as possible, or because insects were sparse during this period, but because of Christmas! There was so much to love abou it: the festivity was a very welcome change from her mundane daily life, there were presents, and her mum was at home the whole day!

Perhaps it was a little selfish of her to think in such a way, but it was Christmas. You didn’t really need an excuse to enjoy _Christmas_ , right?

So when she woke up on that fated day, excitement was already buzzing through her veins. Carols were echoing from downstairs, muffled through the floorboards along with the faint scent of smoke, but she paid it no mind, imstead surveying the room with bright eyes. Yoshiko immediately noted with a pang of exhilaration that a stuffed-looking stocking had been hung on the edge of her door handle.

Christmas was always a rather homely occasion in her household, partly because it was only her and her mum, but they more than made up for the lack of people with their unbridled festivity. Maybe that was another reason why she loved Christmas so much; her house always felt so much more alive.

Yoshiko reached out, snagging her phone from its charger. She smiled at the date - _it was really Christmas!_ \- and flicked onto her notifications tab. Surprisingly, Sakura had already texted her; she’d expected to receive a message after dinner, or just not receive one at all. She’d seemingly been too busy with her piano to text her lately which made Yoshiko feel a little...stung (and consequently very guilty -- what sort of friend was she?), but it’d pass, right? Piano competitions didn’t last forever.

**[06:07]** You’re probably still asleep, but Merry Christmas, Yohane-chan! :) I just woke up myself with two dozen relatives suddenly in my house. Help.

**[06:07]** Wait...do you celebrate Christmas?? Sorry if you don’t. Happy holidays if that’s the case!

She grinned at that. It was a nice feeling, knowing someone specifically texted _you_ first thing in the morning.

 **[09:24]** relatives or not,i cant believe youre awake at six on CHRISTMAS. and yeah i do celebrate it lol. thanks and back to you! (why the -chan all of a sudden??)

Yoshiko almost threw her phone back onto the bed before realising that _crap_ , this would probably be the only free day Sakura would have in a while. She slid into a discarded hoodie and safely pocketed her phone. Christmas was the absolute last day she wanted to make regrets on.

 

  
The two did end up chatting idly throughout the day, their messages mostly consisting of Yoshiko snapping pictures of her mother’s speciality - partially-burned-and-lathered-in-chili-powder turkey - while Sakura wrote about the escapades of attempting to avoid her relatives at every turn in her house. 

 **yohane:** so. ik you were trying not to get an allergic reaction from your relatives and all but you must have gotten a TON of presents from them right??? 

That’s what Yoshiko typed out on Skype as she downed a cup of orange juice and scraped through the remains of her mother’s partially-burned-and-lathered-in-chili-powder turkey. _‘I’ll need to think a better name for that later…’_

Her phone buzzed.

 **biichisukecchi:** Not really anything you’d be interested in haha, but yup, I did

She frowned at that. That just made her even more curious.

 **yohane:**  spill the beans

 **biichisukecchi:** Really, it’s not that interesting ;; I got the usual: you know, money and clothes and stuff. But I did get a nice music book! It's got Christmas songs in. The pieces are a little easy though.

 **biichisukecchi:** Wait, I’m not ungrateful or anything! I got a lot of nice presents

 **yohane:** nice but not interesting enough to tell me, huh??

 **biichisukecchi:** That isn’t what I meant at all ;; I just meant that they were kind of boring...

 **yohane:** relaxx it was a joke lol

She tapped her finger uncomfortably on her kitchen table. Awkward pauses like these were a rarity between her and Sakura, but since they were both, well…awkward, it was kind of hard to maneuver out of them. She had quickly discovered that tone was _hard_ to deliver across in messages.

 **yohane:** play a song for me, little demon! ψ(｀∇´)ψ

That was her feeble attempt at changing the subject. Before she could decide if that was teetering just a _little_ bit too far over the line of cringey, her phone buzzed again.

 **biichisukecchi:** Huh?? Like right now?!!

 _‘Go along with it...go along with it,_ please _,’_ Yoshiko inwardly begged.

 **yohane:** yeah!! theyre a piece of cake for you, right? just record yourself playing!

 **biichisukecchi:**  Just my hands, okay?

Yoshiko blinked. Holy shit. She was _actually_ going along with it? She had thought that Sakura was far too shy for something like that.

 **yohane:** what really??

 **biichisukecchi:** Yeah. It can be like a Christmas present to you, right?

 **yohane:** shit :// what do you want for christmas

 **biichisukecchi:**?? Are you trying to bribe me into showing my face?

 **yohane:** god, no!! it’s just that i can't NOT get you something now!! what do you want, a selfie or smth?? a vid of me suffering through jingle bells??

Had she just offered a selfie? _Yoshiko Tsushima_ , offering a _selfie?!_ She blanched. She couldn’t even smile in family photographs!

 **biichisukecchi:** Just your friendship is fine! :) You can send a selfie or video if you want, and I’m not going to deny that I’m curious, but I’m not going to force you into doing something you’re not comfortable with

 **yohane:** if u combined all the cheese in the world together im 99% sure you’d still win out in terms of cheesiness. dork

 **yohane:** (thanks tho, i think i had a heart attack after i said i’d send a selfie)

 **yohane:** you dont have to record yourself either btw

 **biichisukecchi:** You. You. I Tried To Extend The Hand Of Kindness. To Lend You Help When You Were Down. You Lost Something. I Tried To Replace What You Had Lost. And What Do You Do To Me? You Spit In My Face- No, You Throw The Metaphorical Dirt Of Rejection Into My Face. You Are Mean To Me. You Insult Me. You Dont Appreciate Anything I

Yoshiko almost snorted the orange juice straight out of her nose.

 **yohane:** WTFFF???

 **biichisukecchi:** I found it online and thought it was funny

 **yohane:** youre LITERALLY my grandma

 **biichisukecchi:** You. You. I Tried To Extend The Hand Of Kindness. To Lend You Help When You Were Down. You Lost Something. I Tried To Replace What You Had Lost. And What Do You Do To Me? You Spit In My Face- No, You Throw The Metaphorical Dirt Of Rejection Into My Face. You Are Mean To Me. You Insult Me. You Dont Appreciate Anything I

 **yohane:** the same meme doesnt work twice u caveman

 **biichisukecchi:** You. You. I Tried To Extend The Hand Of Kindness. To Lend You Help When You Were Down. You Lost Something. I Tried To Replace What You Had Lost. And What Do You Do To Me? You Spit In My Face- No, You Throw The Metaphorical Dirt Of Rejection Into My Face. You Are Mean To Me. You Insult Me. You Dont Appreciate Anything I

 **yohane:** OH MY GOD STOPPPPPP

 **biichisukecchi:** Okay, I'm gonna start recording now so be quiet for a while, please.

 **yohane:** your relatives have tainted you

 **biichisukecchi:** That's not being quiet

 **yohane:** YOUR RELATIVES HAVE TAINTED YOU

  
Yoshiko had retreated to her room for the rest of the afternoon, stomach packed with her mother's...turkey and practically bursting out of her pyjama bottoms.

' _If there's one thing bad about Christmas,’_ Yoshiko groaned to herself, numbly rubbing a hand over her belly, _‘it's that you spend the day waddling around with a balloon inside you.'_

That said, she still managed to just about jump out of bed when she heard her phone buzz twice.

 **biichisukecchi:** I'm regretting this. 

_**biichisukecchi** sent the video attachment “DeleteLater7.mp4”_

Yoshiko’s eyes brightened. She impatiently tapped the phone against her chin as she watched the download bar fill out, creeping past at a tantalising pace.

 **yohane:** ehjsksosos it's downloading. and taking ages, may i add

 **yohane:** and why do you have 7 delete later files which you clearly didnt delete lmao

 **yohane:** WAIT DONT DELETE IT

 **biichisukecchi:** WAIT

 **biichisukecchi:** I NEED TO SAY SOMRTHING BEFORE YOU WATCH IT

 **biichisukecchi:** Somethijg*

 **biichisukecchi:** SOMETHING**

She snickered.

 **yohane:** okay grandma

 **biichisukecchi:** :( I'm not sure which is worse: grandma or little demon.

 **yohane:** they're both great!!!

A small _'ping!’_ echoed from her phone's speakers, accompanied by a notification confirming that the download had been completed. Yoshiko’s finger hovered over the 'open’ button; as eager as she was to watch the video, she didn't want to disrupt the substantial amount of trust the two had managed to create over online messaging alone.

 **yohane:** really tho what's up?

 **biichisukecchi:** First of all, I WILL delete the files, thanks for reminding me. And what does lmao mean??

 **yohane:** you're welcome o7 lmao = laughing my ass off. which is what im doing right now

 **biichisukecchi:**  Second of all! I’m deleting the video

 **yohane:** whyyyYY??? :(((

 **biichisukecchi:** It's embarrassing!

Even as the self-proclaimed master of creating embarrassing situations, Yoshiko didn't see how it was embarrassing at _all_ , but she humoured Sakura. It _was_ her video, after all.

 **yohane:** okay

 **biichisukecchi:** Thirdly, I played a Christmas song from the book I got, and since I only got the book today, I'm not GREAT at it, okay? So don't get your hopes up. And sorry if there's dirt underneath my nails, and my hands are kind of pudgy. There's also a scream at the end, but don't mind that

 **yohane:** you just stuffed like five things into a thirdly but sure. and a scream???? what the actual fuck??? i cant just not mind that wtf happened???

 **biichisukecchi:** I dropped the iPad on my foot.

 **yohane:** and it hurt so much you screamed??

 **biichisukecchi:** It surprised me!! And it could have been a tarantula or something

 **yohane:** didn't you tell me just like last month or smth that “tarantuals dont exist in japan”??

 **biichisukecchi:**  ...Just shut up and watch the video

 **biichisukecchi:** Actually wait. Please don’t. Ugh. It's not very good

Yoshiko’s brow furrowed.

 **yohane:** listen, im like the biggest loser on earth with 0 standards. im watching because YOU’RE playing and i like you, not bc i wanna see a mozart performance or smth

 **biichisukecchi:** Are you sure?

 **yohane:** im not gonna watch it if you REALLY dont want me to. like i said, im not gonna force you to do it

 **biichisukecchi:** ;; Just don't laugh or anything, okay?

 **yohane:** how much of an asshole do you think i am?!

 **yohane:** thanks tho!! im excited to see my #1 little demon play!

 **biichisukecchi:** #1?

 **yohane:** well, you're currently the only one. but if i get more, you'll still be #1!! devil emoji

 **biichisukecchi:** ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 **yohane:** thanks

 **yohane:** im actually gonna start watching it now tho so shh

 **biichisukecchi:** Ughhh…

Yoshiko watched for a little longer, making sure the video wouldn't be interrupted by any other more messages Sakura decided to send. Satisfied by the silence, she eagerly clicked on the download notification. A video promptly opened up, displaying a pearly white set of piano keys and a pale, slender pair of hands gently caressing it.

“Headphones, headphones…” Yoshiko mumbled to herself. She twisted around to grab them and yanked the socket into her phone’s hole, hastily plugging in the earbuds as well.

She could tell from the drastic rate the iPad's viewpoint was shaking at that it must have been stacked up rather precariously. The first few seconds were simply just muffled noises of someone - presumably Sakura - shuffling around. There was a barely audible cough and a hollow 'clunk' before one of the hands reached out to straighten the music sheet, revealing a baby pink sleeve.

The hand came to rest yet again against the white keys, this time tensed. Her fingers tentatively pressed into a chord, and just that seemed to be the final push for the girl before launching herself into the song. Her fingers began dancing along the ivory surface, often effortlessly weaving over each other to reach the smaller, charcoal keys snuggled tightly in between the larger white blocks. The melody was simple, but was charged with so much confidence and emotion that it was hard to believe that the same girl had been an anxious wreck just before. Yoshiko had never been one for classical music - she vastly preferred accompanying vocals and a heavy beat - but her eyes were glued to the screen, watching with a mixture of both silent wonderment and bemusement at her own reaction.

The music came to an end quicker than she had expected -- well, there was a limit on how long you could drag out ‘Swing Low, Sweet Chariot’, she supposed. There was a rather piercing scream as the video frame spun dramatically, but Yoshiko barely even registered it.

She self-consciously touched a hand to her clammy cheek. Oh god, she was burning up! That was _never_ a good sign.

Her phone buzzing incessantly was the only thing that snapped her out of her revere.

 **biichisukecchi:** Yohane-chan??

 **biichisukecchi:** It's been like five minutes

 **biichisukecchi:** My video was only under two!!

 **biichisukecchi:** Wait, let me check

 **biichisukecchi:** 1:43 minutes

 **biichisukecchi:** Oh my god.

 **biichisukecchi:** DELETE IT

 **yohane:** sorry!!!

She rubbed her temples nervously.

 **yohane:** i was kinda in awe lol

Yoshiko added a 'lol’ for good measure. She didn't want her actions to be taken...well, weirdly, because Christ -- they _were_ weird.

 **biichisukecchi:** Really? That was a very simple piece… I'm glad you liked it, though!

 **biichisukecchi:** …you scared me…

 **yohane:** what, did you think i’d sacrifice you to satan or smth if i didnt like it? ψ(｀∇´)ψ

Good. _Good_ , Yoshiko. Everything was going back on track.

 **biichisukecchi:** Knowing you, yes

 _Wonderful_.

 **yohane:** also how is swing low sweet chariot a christmas song???

 **biichisukecchi:** I don’t know, honestly. Blame whoever made this book

 **yohane:** was it considered one in the 1940s?

 **biichisukecchi:** ? I don’t know?? Why’re you asking me?

 **yohane:** that's the century my grandma was born in

 **biichisukecchi:** -_-

 **yohane:** ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 

  
Later, when she had just hopped out of the shower, Yoshiko made sure to send Sakura another message -- just in case.

 **yohane:** you did play really well

The reply was almost instantaneous.

 **biichisukecchi:** Thank you!!

Seeing as how Sakura rarely ever used two exclamation marks except for when expressing indignation, Yoshiko took that as a small victory.

 

* * *

 

 **31/12 - 01/01**  
Numazu was a small town - if you could even call it that - and as such, each and every local made it a point to attend as many gatherings within the community as possible. This logic most definitely applied to New Year celebrations, and it was the only reason Yoshiko found herself in a yukata on New Year's Eve, watching the fireworks through groggy eyes. She only noticed that her phone had gone off when her mother nudged her and narrowly avoided sticking her clutched toffee apple down her yukata sleeve.

**[00:00]** Happy New Year! I'm glad I met you this year, Yohane-chan, and I hope our friendship stands strong next year as well!

Yoshiko almost dropped her phone. She already knew her face was on fire, but she nonetheless touched her cheek. The realisation that she was Sakura’s first thought during such a special moment made her feel much more sentimental then any old fireworks display could, but it also filled her with guilt -- the only thing _Yoshiko_ had been thinking of was going back home.

“What did you wish for, Yoshiko-chan?” her mother asked curiously on the way back from the shrine.

“Just the usual,” she lied, fingers tightening around her fan.

Her mother merely smiled, and their conversation petered out, delving back into a peaceful silence. Yoshiko looked up at the night sky, subconsciously pressing a finger to her cheek.

God had never been particularly benevolent when it came down to Yoshiko and her luck, but she hoped he could grant her wish just this once.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> local teenagers ruin everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 and sri lanka do /not/ seem to like each other. ao3 doesn't seem to like me in general e_e

**21/01  
biichisukecchi:** Today’s the day of the competition.

That was the certainly very...ominous message Yoshiko had received. She’d been wolfing down her lunch - as much of a lunch a packet of prawn cocktail crisps could be considered, anyway - and now blinked back at the notification with mild bewilderment. She’d known the competition was in January, but _today?_ Hastily dusting the crisp crumbs off of her fingers, she typed out a reply.

 **yohane:** oh wow. really? i’m surprised you texted me. thought you’d have your head bent over your piano the whole day

Saying there wasn’t a subtle, irritated bite behind her words would be a lie. After years of unrelenting teasing from her classmates, Yoshiko was used to dealing with irritation -- but this time was different. This time she didn’t know _whom_ she was upset with: Sakura, or herself?

She rubbed her temples. Despite Sakura’s words on New Year’s Day and her own (still annoyingly ambiguous) feelings, she swore she could sense their tight bond unwinding, day by day.

Maybe it was a product of Sakura’s suddenly busy schedule, and Yoshiko was just having a difficult time adjusting. Just a few days ago, there had been radio silence on Sakura’s behalf for a week. A _week!_ Months ago, they wouldn’t have gone twelve hours without texting each other! And when Sakura _had_ texted her back, it was a simple, uncharacteristic _‘Sorry for the delay, I was busy’._

Her phone buzzed. Pent up unease churned in her stomach, not at all satiated by how foreign the once familiar noise was becoming.

She swallowed the feeling back down and picked up her phone.

 **biichisukecchi:** Haha, yeah. I’ve been practicing all morning. I only came out because my mum’s forcing me to eat lunch.

Which meant that Sakura was only texting her because her mum had dragged her out of her piano room.

 _‘Thanks for proving my point, bud,’_ Yoshiko thought sarcastically. She almost immediately berated herself for her mistake. No. _Bad_ Yoshiko. _Don’t think things like that about your friend_. _Especially_ when you may or may not have decidedly non platonic feelings for said friend.

 **yohane:** nervous??

That’s what she sent instead. She hoped it came along as pacifically as she had intended for it to be.

 **biichisukecchi:** Yeah, very. My hands are shaking and I think I’m going to throw up

Yoshiko bit her lip. As on edge as she had been lately, Sakura was her dear friend - her best friend ( _her only friend_ , a small part of her whispered) - and seeing her so shaken definitely didn’t make her feel good.

 **yohane:** why are you nervous?

She stared at her sent message for a solid ten seconds, lips pursed. _Smooth,_ Yoshiko.

 **biichisukecchi:** I don’t know :/ I think I’m just worried that the competition will go awfully

If there was one thing going awfully, it was Yoshiko’s mind attempting to grasp the possibility of Sakura doing something _not_ perfectly.

 **yohane:** hey, you’ll do fine!! i saw your playing first hand! i even have your vid saved to my phone!

 **biichisukecchi:** What?

While Yoshiko wasn’t eager to face the chewing out she’d undoubtedly get in the (hopefully far) future, the topic of her video seemed to momentarily take Sakura’s mind of her performance, which was _something_ , she supposed.

 **yohane:** okay so what time are you going on stage?

 **biichisukecchi:** My slot’s at 2:35...I think. Why??

 **yohane:** your piece will take like...two or three minutes, right? i’ll make sure to think of you and cheer you on!!

She stuffed her fist into her mouth, trying not to scream. Dear _god_ , that was creepy as _hell_ , wasn’t it?

 **yohane:** CRAP that sounds creepy doesn't it….

 **biichisukecchi:** Haha, it doesn't :) Thank you, really

Yoshiko took her fist out of her mouth. She wasn’t sure which to be more disgusted of: her slobber drenched, prawn cocktail scented fist, or the unsightly blush rising up into her cheeks. She self consciously touched her cheek. When she removed her hand, a thin line of saliva extended from her pinky to her cheek.

 _“Dammit,”_ she hissed, swiping the gross...thing away. At least she knew which one she was more disgusted of now.

Her phone buzzed again, and Yoshiko thanked her lucky stars that her phone was already face up and unlocked.

 **biichisukecchi:** To be honest, I know I’ll do fine. I’ve done competitions before and I’ve done well. I need to leave in a few minutes tho, so ttyl

She stuffed her feelings back down her throat and quickly tapped out a reply, taking as much care as possible to not deface her screen with drool.

 **yohane:** okay o7 good luck!!

 

Maybe it was slightly obsessive of her, but Yoshiko had been watching the clock tick forward since two.

Okay, _maybe_ that was a… _little_ more than 'slightly obsessive’, but, contrary to popular belief, Yoshiko wasn't stupid. She knew best how easily she could get distracted, which was precisely why she’d set up her ritual just a little earlier then planned. (Yes, ‘a little’ _did_ mean thirty five minutes, thank you very much.)

Speaking of the ritual: she’d spread out her favourite pentagram mat over her carpet and dotted a lit candle at every vertex. Her phone, of which she was tapping continuously to keep it awake, was in the middle, her stopwatch ticking ominously behind it. Yoshiko had considered replacing her phone with her keyboard instead, but, to her dismay, she could barely wedge a single leg onto the map. She’d had to make do with it simply being by her window. She'd also pre-typed a message onto her phone. It wasn't anything special, really; just a simple, repeated _‘good luck!’_ , but she hoped the weight of the sentiment would carry across.

Well, truth be told: she wasn't sure how much Sakura would appreciate her efforts. She _was_ a pretty down to earth person after all, but-- she puffed out her chest as she inwardly declared this-- only the best for the best, right?

The clock eventually ticked down to thirty five past two. As soon as the hand clicked against the twelve, Yoshiko pressed the send button. She impatiently waited for the message to deliver before blowing out the candles surrounding her phone and striking a pose. Technically, she only posed like that for the satisfaction of her fans, yet she'd declined to set up a camera like she usually did. The whole situation felt _way_  too personal for her to film and release to the public, and like _hell_ she was letting Sakura know about her regular livestreams.

Still, the pose made the ritual feel...complete, in her opinion.

She waited a little longer for three minutes to pass - _how long_ were _traditional piano pieces, anyway?_ \- just in case the ritual went awry.

Satisfied at last that absolutely nothing could go wrong, Yoshiko pulled off the uncomfortably warm cloak from around her shoulders and began packing away her equipment, the practice having quickened after months of regular streaming.

Now, the only thing left to do was to wait for the good news.

 

 

Sakura didn't text Yoshiko that evening, much to her surprise. She’d rushed through dinner to get upstairs and check her phone, yet the ‘no new notifications’ sign still shone bright and clear on her screen.

 _‘Oh, you were expecting a message from your not-crush?’_ it asked, blinking at her tantalisingly. _‘Too bad. She’s too_ busy _for you.’_

‘ _Shut up.’_ She threw her phone face-down onto her duvet. She regretted not slobbering the stupid thing with her prawn cocktail saliva earlier. _'She’s probably just tired.’_

Still, after months of seemingly being the first person in Sakura’s mind for everything, being ignored hurt did hurt -- just a little bit.

 

* * *

 

 **22/01**  
When she woke up the next day, she still hasn't received a text. There was no way Sakura wasn’t home by now. She couldn’t help but feel that maybe, just _maybe_ the recital hadn’t gone so well.

Yet, despite Yoshiko being someone who typically followed her gut instinct, she pushed aside that awful gnawing feeling for later. She'd done the ritual just fine, hadn't she? Sakura was probably just busy. Yoshiko sighed, pressing the phone screen to her cheek. _Just busy._ She was beginning to grow tired of convincing herself that Sakura was ‘just busy’.

She was even more tired of trying not to blame Sakura for the lack of attention she was receiving these days. What was she, a stray _mutt_ or something? Was she just upset that Sakura had stopped leaving food outside for her for every day? 

‘ _Ha ha,’_ she thought to herself miserably. 

She still made sure to send Sakura a hopefully not _too_ clungy message on the way to school.

 **[8:08]** hey, you alright? its not like you to be silent for this long

Actually, it _was_ like her. It _was_ like her _alot_ , but Yoshiko didn't mention that. She didn't want to so violently destroy one of the few fruitful friendships she'd made on on this planet.

That said, it was impossible for her to not get annoyed when Yoshiko’s phone didn't buzz throughout the entire day.

 _'She's just busy, Yoshiko,’_ she chastised, biting her thumb nail after another disappointing run of checking her phone for notifications. No matter how many times Sakura claimed she didn't enjot doing it, Yoshiko was used to receiving-- _exchanging_  -- messages during lessons.  _'Just busy.’_

 

* * *

 

 **28/01**  
The rest of the week passed by rather dismally, with no sign of life from Sakura’s side. Yoshiko grew more and more restless, but she didn't give up -- she made sure to send two messages a day; one in the morning, and one at night. They were rather curt and often grumpy in nature, but Yoshiko simply didn't have the energy nor mood to pretend to be happy.

‘ _She’d see straight through her anyway,’_ she thought to herself bitterly. _‘She’s perfect like that.’_

That night, though, her phone buzzed. She’d picked it up with disinterest, expecting a game notification, and just about choked on her spit upon seeing the mail notification.

**[21:13]** Sorry for not replying, I was a bit busy. I’m fine though, so don’t worry :)

The shock of surprise almost immediately subsided inside Yoshiko, quickly being replaced with a welling frustration.

 **[21:14]** a bit busy my ASS. look, you cant just tell me not to worry. youve not replied to my messages in a WEEK. wtf happened??

She bit her lip. That was too harsh. She may be a bit...doubtful these days, but Sakura wouldn’t just disappear on her for no good reason. She hoped so, anyway.

 **[21:14]** and, well…...youre my friend. u dont have to talk about w/e kept you and thats fine, but i do really hope YOU'RE okay? i mean you seemed pretty anxious before you disappeared too. u know first hand i suck at comforting people but im always here if you need me, even if you just want someone to shout at lol

 **[21:14]** ik it might not seem like it all the time but i care for you a lot, more than you probably think. even if you dont wanna tell me, i hope youre okay

Yoshiko sighed, the phone resting limply in her hands. A few days ago, that sigh would have quickly evolved into a groan, and her cheeks would most _certainly_ be on fire. She’d probably just brush it off with a few words about Satan or Ragnarok or _something_ , but all she wanted to do now was mend the rift that had materialized between them, even if she was the only one who felt that way. Even if, should worst come to worst, it came at the expense of her dignity.

**[21:16]** I don’t know anymore

Usually, Yoshiko would be relieved at Sakura failing to react to her uncharacteristic affection, but this time, something eerily similar to disappointment pooled at the bottom of her stomach.

 **[21:16]** u dont know what anymore?

**[21:17]** I don’t know what to do with myself anymore, Yohane

Yoshiko chewed on her lip, the gnawing feeling swelling uncomfortably in her gut.

 **[21:17]** the piano comp didnt go well did it?

**[21:17]** Yeah. It was awful

She sighed, sinking down to sit on the foot of her bed. There it was; her intuition was right after all. But she'd done the ritual, hadn't she? Yoshiko massaged her eyes with the palms of her hands. Maybe the ritual had just given her _bad_ luck instead. Having bad luck was the one thing Yoshiko had utmost confidence in, after all.

 **[21:18]** u tried your best and thats what matters. fuck anyone who thinks otherwise

**[21:19]** That’s the thing. I didn’t do my best. I didn’t even PLAY the piano. After months of practicing, all I managed to do was sit on the stool and have a panic attack.

**[21:19]** Pathetic, right?

She bit her lip hard. That was worse than she was expecting, and she couldn’t even empathise with Sakura in this situation -- Yoshiko had never had a panic attack before. Or performed in front of an audience, for that matter.

A small part of her made a crude remark along the lines of a certain perfect girl being not so perfect after all, but Yoshiko pushed that feeling far away into her mind and sealed it, never to be released. She was being unfair. It wasn’t Sakura’s fault.

‘ _It’s not her fault she likes piano recitals more than you,’_ a small, petty, twisted, _sick_ , absolutely _sick_ part of her taunted. Yoshiko ignored it and focused on the concern she should be feeling. The concern she _was_ feeling.

 **[21:20]** im not gonna lie to u and say everythings gonna be okay, but you tried ur best. u got up on stage in front of tons of people, and just thats awesome tbh. not pathetic at all

**[21:21]** So getting up on stage and undoing almost half a year’s worth of work is my best?

Yoshiko clenched her fist. It was at times like this that she wished she had made friends at school, even if those friends were disgusting and bullies and bitches and, as far as Yoshiko was concerned, disgraces to humanity. She had no idea how to comfort _herself_ , let alone another person.

 **[21:21]** you know thats what i mean!! i mean yeah, the piano comp didnt go well, but you have a future. this doesnt prove you or your talent or your best or your ANYTHING. u have loaaads of other opportunities. the one time things didnt go well doesnt go above all your other achievements

‘ _Okay, yeah.’_ She bitterly read over her message. It sounded unconvincing, even to her. _‘I officially have the charisma of a slug.’_

Her phone buzzed.

**[21:21]** I don’t know. I can’t even play the piano properly anymore. I tried this morning. My fingers move and sound comes out, but there’s no pop. It’s not boring or fun. There’s just nothing.

Her eyebrows furrowed in thought. She honestly had no idea what to say. She also wished that she had practiced the piano a little more, just so she could understand... _this._

 **[21:23]** so you can play it, but you cant...feel it????

**[21:23]** Yeah. It’s basically the same as not being able to play it. I might as well just give up

Yoshiko almost dropped her phone in shock. _Was she seeing right?_

 **[21:23]** woah wtf are you serious??? ur gonna give up just like that? YOU??

The lack of a reply provided her with an answer.

 **[21:33]** isnt piano your passion?? you love the piano, and youre gonna stop because you reached an obstacle??? ffs i know jackshit about piano and even i havent given up. if i can do it YOU definitely do it!!

**[21:34]** You don’t know anything about me.

Their conversation had been going downhill ever since Sakura had first messaged her, but that hit hard. Yoshiko stared at the screen for a few moments, her feelings scampering around into something that was not quite anger, but very close to it: a blend of regret, frustration, and hurt. She closed her eyes, swallowing hard.

God, she was _pissed._

 **[21:35]** i know a lot about you and i think ur being DUMB. ik the piano comp meant a lot to you and i’d get taking a break but giving up?? thats not like u

Yoshiko growled, rubbing her temples in frustration. She didn’t know or whom what she was angry at - Sakura giving up so abruptly, that snide remark, or _Sakura_ herself -, and that only made her angrier. Well-- not really _angry_. Just kind of annoyed and fed up and _tired_. 

**[21:35]** I didn’t want this to turn into an argument. I'm exhausted

Her eyes furrowed at that, the intensity of her emotions ebbing foen. She scrolled up briefly, skimming over the message logs before letting out an aggravated sigh. Yoshiko _had_ started the so called ‘argument’, as little as she wanted to admit it. Besides, Sakura had to be exhausted from the failure of a competition, and she supposed she wasn’t making it any easier on her.

 **[21:26]** that wasnt my intention either. just dont give the piano up because of one mess up. if theres one thing thats pathetic, its that

That was harsh, harsher than usual, and she knew it.

**[21:27]** I’ll think about it

Not a modest ‘thank you’ or a typical deadpan quip. Not even a repeated ‘You don’t know anything about me’; just a tired ‘I’ll think about it’. Somehow, that felt much worse of a conclusion than another argument did.

She blinked back the budding warmth behind her eyes and scowled, fingers curling so tight around the edge of her bed that they began to hurt.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been almost a month since their spat, but nobody seemed to notice that Yoshiko was less cheerful than before. Well, in all fairness, that  _probably_ had something to do with the fact that the only person she ever saw these days was her mother.

 

Yoshiko wished they’d argued after her holidays had passed. She had a lot of time -- _too much_ free time. Free time that was mostly spent - dear lord - thinking and wallowing in self-pity.

 

So as such, Yoshiko filled her schedule to the brim with one distraction she could definitely have: live streams. Her fans were overjoyed, of course; who wouldn't be, in the presence of the great Yohane?!

 

...That said, she _was_ running out of ideas and running out of them fast. Her streams were typically short and dramatic, but she'd been so desperate at one point that she even set up a Question and Answer segment -- which her fans had eaten up, thankfully.

 

She thought back to the message she'd received from Sakura just a day after the argument.

 

 **biichisukecchi:** I'm so sorry for what I said yesterday. I really didn't mean all of the things I said. I was upset and took it out on you. I just need some time to think, probably

 

Yoshiko hadn’t replied for weeks. In fact, she still hadn't answered. It wasn't that she was ignoring her - Yoshiko wasn't that type of person, and she hoped the other girl knew that - it's just that she didn't know what to say. Usually, when talking to Sakura, words practically spilled from her fingertips, but that was the one time she was stumped on what to say. She _was_ still upset and angry _and_ jealous, but Sakura had made it perfectly clear that she didn't want to argue.

 

She sighed, staring at the screen with bleary eyes. She’d put it off for long enough; she had to give a reply _one_ day.

 

 **yohane:** its okay

 

They both knew that she was the opposite of okay. Yoshiko seldom took so long to reply and said reply would never, _ever_ be so curt -- especially if it was as sincere as Sakura’s.

 

But what could she do now? Talk it out? _Apologise?_ She didn’t want to play the blame game, and even though Sakura had said sorry, she seemed to have no intention of picking up the piano again.

 

_'You don't know anything about me.’_

 

Yoshiko squeezed her eyes shut and properly turned her phone off for the first time that year.

 

**March**

Juggling her life as a fallen angel and a middle school student was _hard._ Not to say that she wasn’t a full-fledged fallen angel in school (because she most certainly was), but no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t exactly break out her streaming equipment in the middle of calculus. She shuddered at the thought of her math’s teachers grimy fingers tainting her beautiful camera. Yeah, she was staying _well_ away from that scenario…

 

Yoshiko had never really bothered to keep the two ‘lives’ separate, but she was making an effort now. It was completely subconscious at first; the first time she realised this was when she’d left her precious summoning mat at home and had actually responded to a classmate calling her Yoshiko. She didn’t know _why_ exactly she was doing it either. Perhaps the frequent snickers from everyone had been hitting a little too close to home these days.

 

She had a feeling it was mostly because of a certain failed ritual she had performed not too long ago, but Yoshiko pushed that thought far away into the corner of her mind.

 

Whatever it was, she hated it. It kept her from living fully through Yohane, and hell, was that even _possible?_ She was Yohane, and Yohane was her. They were one and together. Yet, the more she thought, the more she realised-- no, the more she _felt_ that Yohane was just some… made up persona she liked to fool around with. Frankly speaking, she didn’t give two damns about what people thought of her, but maybe they were right, just this once.

 

It made her feel pathetic, and Yoshiko would absolutely not sit for that.

 

Naturally, the first thing she had to do was get in touch with herself again, and what better way to do that than to make even more live streams?

 

(and, to be honest, she was bored out of her mind.)

 

_[ > Yohane’s making a lot of streams these days, huh?] _

 

_[ >>she must be bored wwwww] _

 

_[ >Yohane sama!!!!] _

 

She smirked at the reactions of her little demons. They were predictably ecstatic that her live streams were becoming more and more of a frequent occurrence, which led to her gaining over a hundred of them _(subscribers,_ the streaming website stubbornly insisted on calling them) in the span of a week.

 

Yoshiko had even opened up a simple submission box for herself, the objective of it being for her fans to send requests and stream ideas to her. While she had received some... questionable messages, the more doable requests helped move her streams along smoothly.

 

The request Yoshiko was working off was a rather silly one. A boy her age had a crush on a teacher at his school and wanted Yohane to do a ritual for her to fall in love with him. Yoshiko had wrinkled her nose in horror when she'd first seen it in her inbox but had complied nonetheless. She wasn't one to judge others, and this boy _was_ her little demon. According to a tabloid online, using the perspiration of a frog as a sacrifice during a ritual would effectively solve the boy’s dilemma.

 

Granted, the tabloid _was_ pretty damn shady - the proof image was clearly photoshopped, for god's sake! - but for Yoshiko, the shadier something was, the better.

 

One of her neighbours had given her a strange look when they saw her sneaking up the stairs of the apartment that morning, a frog nestled discreetly in her cupped hands, but she paid it no heed. Said frog was now dozing in a bowl of water, eyeing her with disgruntlement as she set up the ritual.

 

“Sorry,” she whispered apologetically to it. She reached out her hand to pat its back, but quickly retracted it upon second thought. Were frogs _poisonous?_

 

“I’ll put you back as soon as this is done,” she amended instead.

 

The frog stared at Yoshiko. She resisted the urge to turn away. She was _not_ getting intimidated by a _frog._

 

She pulled herself back to readying the live stream. The motions had been repeated so much that they were automatic: smooth out the pentagram mat; set the fan at its lowest setting; light all the candles (with a bucket of water nearby at her mother’s request); check the camera's in focus with the right timer setting on, and - with a lot of fidgeting and wriggling around to make sure the costume’s securely in place - she was good to go.

 

Yoshiko cleared her throat one last time, before starting the timer and hurriedly making to pose in the center of the camera. Her laptop flashed from behind the tripod, signalling the beginning of the recording.

 

She smirked sinisterly, shutting her eyes. “Behold, mortals”--she swept her gloved hand out dramatically and cracked open an eye-- “for Fallen Angel Yohane has descended to Earth, yet again!”

 

The laptop screen was overflowing with comments. She couldn't read them at the angle she was at, but she could make out lots of exclamation marks and devil emojis. Yoshiko chuckled her breath. All in all, a good sign.

 

She rattled off a vague explanation of her little demon falling for a mortal. Yoshiko then turned to the frog and gingerly lifted it up in her hands. She had the frog in a steady grip (and was inwardly praying that the poison wouldn't leak through her leather gloves if the stupid thing really _was_ poisonous because god that would be hard to bluff through in hospital), when she paused and took a proper look at the carpet in front of her.

 

The mat was the same one she’d used for Sakura's ritual. Her _failed_ ritual. The ritual that had ended her best, and apparently, only, friendship she’d ever had.

 

Yoshiko hesitated, fingers twitching around the frog as it-- as _everything_ completely sunk in. She looked down at the array of candles lit around her, shame suddenly washing over her.

 

What was she even _doing?_

 

She released the frog with quivering hands, letting it drop on the carpet with a grotesque squelch. Her bottom lip trembled, and she quickly bit the welling emotions back. She couldn't remember the last time she’d cried, and she was _not_ letting loose in front of her little demons.

 

Yoshiko cringed and squeezed her eyes shut. No, _fans._ Subscribers.

 

 _‘What am I even doing?’_ she repeated to herself numbly. She tugged uncomfortably at the neckline; she suddenly felt a whole lot more stuffy inside her extravagant ‘fallen angel’ get up, even with both the fan and AC turned on.

 

The croaking of the frog beneath her was the only thing that snapped her out of her stupor. Yoshiko’s breath caught in her throat, and she stumbled to her feet as eloquently as she could.

 

Little demons or fans or subscribers or _whatever_ , she was _not_ breaking down in front of them.

 

“The spell has been cast down from above,” Yoshiko choked out. “You need not worry yourself over the object of your affections anymore, little demon.” She smiled the 'Yohane’ smile; the smile that would have all of her fans at her feet in a single moment. It felt empty and dishonest, and Yoshiko wondered if that was because of her realisation that Yohane _was_ empty and dishonest, or if it’s just always been that way.

 

The candles flashed extinguished, and out with it went the recording. The stream ended as abruptly as it had started, while Yoshiko would usually hold her pose for a few moments after as a precaution, she strode over to her laptop without another thought.

 

_[ > great stream as always] _

 

_[ > Aw man, I hope she does another one soon] _

 

_[ > www Thanks Yohane!!] _

 

Yoshiko’s eyes skimmed dully over the messages, mouth dry. What were people like them even watching her for? Surely they had better things to do in their life. Were they otaku? Pedophiles? She narrowed her eyes. Were they like people in her school, and just laughing at her?

 

A passing message caught her eyes.

 

_[ > am i ur #1 little demon, yohane chan?!] _

 

Yoshiko's breath hitched.

 

 _‘No.'_ Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, tense and ready to type out a reply. ‘ _You really are not.’_

 

Under normal circumstances, Yoshiko would probably laugh the message off. Knowing her, she'd probably use it to blow up her ego. She might even have sent a teasing text to Sakura, pondering if she'd somehow managed to find out about her live streams and had become a fan, but no; that was impossible. Yoshiko hadn't told her about her streaming activities despite how often she did it, and it wasn't a matter of just not telling her. She'd actively tried to hide it.

 

Not to mention her crush.

 

Yoshiko swallowed, her hands coming to rest back on the mouse pad. Sakura was bound to have her own secrets too. Maybe she was right, and Yoshiko didn't know anything about her at all. Maybe they just didn't know anything about _each other._

 

She'd never said them out loud before, but the words _'number one little demon’_ rang in her ears, like an elevator replaying it's irritating music over and over again. Yoshiko licked her lips and clicked onto a new tab, bringing up the Connect Four page she’d first met Sakura on, all those months ago. She used to use it almost daily back then but hadn't been on it once since she and Sakura had first exchanged contact information.

 

She didn't understand what exactly compelled her to do it, but she started a new server. She almost typed in 'yohane’ as her screen name, it being almost muscle memory at that point, but quickly mashed the delete button and entered in a careful 'yoshiko’.

 

Yoshiko tapped her fingers against the mouse pad; the server was taking an abnormally long time to load. She sighed and swung her legs off the bed, making her way over to the mirror hung above her desk. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. The frills and layers of her plum skirt hung limply in all the wrong angles and paired with the halo headband and the mauve gloss smeared across her lips, she looked like…

 

She shuddered. She looked like a child playing in her mother's clothes.

 

“You're almost in _high school_ now,” she mumbled, pressing a tentative fingertip to the band of her halo. It wobbled precariously under her touch, and with a snort, she pulled it off, discarding the accessory on her bed.

 

The loading circled in a seemingly endless manner, and she sighed, resting her chin on the bed. Her own, magenta eyes stared right back at her through the screen’s reflection, and she quickly averted her gaze. She’d always thought she’d looked, well -- cool with her fallen angel get up, but looking at her now: the frills and layers of her plum dress hung limply in all the wrong angles. Anyone with an ounce of common sense could tell she was barely fifteen. Paired with the ridiculous halo headband and the mauve gloss smeared across her lips, she looked like a child playing in her mother’s clothes.

 

“You’re almost in high school now,” she repeated, words coming out in a weak rasp. She pressed a fingertip to the band of her halo. It wobbled precariously under her touch. Yoshiko snorted and pulled it off, discarding it on her bed. She glared at her dress next, wondering if it was worth the trouble of letting out her pent-up frustration.

 

She caught sight of her keyboard sitting, forlorn, in the corner of her room, and quickly began unbuttoning her dress.

 

Once she was safely in a comfortable -- in a _normal_ \-- combination of a jumper and skirt, she pulled out her box of fallen angel equipment. She looked away and sealed it, pushing it away from her sight.

 

She took both the box and her keyboard down to the garage the next day. She wondered why she hadn’t done it before.

 

**April**

By the time April rolled around, Yoshiko was bristling with both excitement and nerves. She was going to high school, finally! She was free of the disaster that was middle school, and she could properly put aside all that had happened in the past few months. Her failures, her personality, Sakura, Yohane -- they were all gone. It was refreshing, starting a new slate, and she was determined to make it work this time.

 

Her plan was as follows: walk to school normally; introduce herself normally; eat lunch normally; make friends normally, and walk back home normally. She clenched her fist resolutely. She was going to be _normal._

 

That said -- Yoshiko was still a bundle of nerves ready to untangle at any moment. Setting her alarm a whole hour before she usually woke up was _not_ a good idea, because she’d spent the rest of that time pacing around the room and making herself even tenser.

 

She was squeezing her feet into her outdoor shoes when she heard her phone buzz from her bag. Yoshiko tugged it open and pulled out her phone, blinking curiously at the screen.

 

 **_‘biichisukecchi_ ** _has sent a message.’_

 

Yoshiko’s heart thudded, and she quickly pocketed her phone. She’d already decided that nothing would ruin her first day at her high school, and she was determined to keep it that way.

 

* * *

 

 

Uranohoshi Girl’s High School was, to Yoshiko’s relief, a fairly nice school. The exterior wasn’t anything special, sure, but the blooming cherry blossom trees did look quite pretty framing the (surprisingly empty) pool. There were barely a hundred students studying at the school, and Yoshiko wasn’t sure whether that was a good or bad thing; Yoshiko being Yoshiko, fewer people was _always_ a good thing, but it also gave her more of an opportunity to make a name for herself -- which she was trying to avoid. But people hadn’t given her any strange looks yet (and _she_ had also miraculously managed to not give people any strange looks either), and she took that as a win.

 

“My name’s Yoshiko Tsushima,” she said as she introduced herself at the front of the class. She bowed her head, lips twitching in happiness at just how _normal_ she sounded. “It’s nice to meet you.” The class clapped politely, and Yoshiko flashed them a smile. She waited until she was sat back in her seat before subtly pumping her fist in victory. She grinned -- that had gone just as she had practiced. She’d already achieved two of her goals and the day had only just begun!

 

 _‘This is what it should be like,’_ she thought to herself giddily. _‘This is what it_ will _be like.’_

 

As it turned out, she needn’t have even approached anyone at lunchtime. Two girls immediately came up to her before she could even pull out her bento -- _her bento!_ She’d even made it herself! - and break her chopsticks. The slightly shorter one of the duo was wearing a yellow sweater (a sweater over a sweater; Yoshiko admired her resilience), while the other girl trailed behind her.

 

Yoshiko briefly wondered if the two had simply wandered over to her to tease her. _Had_ she done anything to warrant that? She grimaced, and could only watch as they picked her way over to her. She thought she had acted pretty normal, and she could even see the faint traces of a smile on Yellow Sweater Girl’s face... but that could easily be a mocking smile just as it could be a genuine one.

 

The girls’ shadows fell over her. Yoshiko gulped and met their eyes. If they started harassing her, she’d go to the roof, just as she always did in middle school. She opened her mouth--

 

“You’re Yoshiko-chan, right?” Yellow Sweater Girl asked.

 

Yoshiko closed her mouth. She opened it again. Nothing came out. Her face flushed, and she hastily nodded.

 

Yellow Sweater Girl’s smile widened, and she gasped brightly. “Oh, I knew it!” She took Yoshiko’s hands in hers, and Yoshiko tried not to flinch. “Do you remember me?” she pressed.

 

Yoshiko’s face paled. Frankly, _no,_ she did _not_ remember Yellow Sweater Girl, and she didn’t particularly want to either. She was meant to be starting a new slate! Was she from middle school? Yoshiko wracked her brain. She swore she’d remember that yellow sweater from anywhere, but nothing came to mind.

 

“It’s Hanamaru!” Yellow Sweater Girl supplied helpfully.

 

Memories of a small, innocent girl from her childhood - the only one that would join her in the playground - surfaced almost immediately. Her honey coloured hair and kind, drooping eyes hadn’t changed over the years, now that Yoshiko looked properly. And she had always been one to get cold easily, come to think of it.

 

Oh no. Oh, no no _no._

 _“Zuramaru?”_ Yoshiko shrieked incredulously.

 

Hanamaru’s cheeks were flushed with excitement. “So you do remember me, zura!” she exclaimed, inching closer to Yoshiko’s face to try and peer at it.

 

Yoshiko backed away in turn, trying to look anywhere _but_ at Hanamaru’s face. _Zura?_ This really _was_ Hanamaru!

 

“I never thought we’d be able to meet again in high school,” Hanamaru blabbered on, oblivious to Yoshiko’s discomfort. “I never got to see you again after we went to different middle schools, you know!” She looked up, her eyes shining. “How’ve you been, Yoshiko-chan?”

 

“I-I,” Yoshiko stuttered, her breath catching in her throat. She coughed inconspicuously. “I’ve been, um, alright.”

 

Hanamaru released Yoshiko’s hands and stepped back, looking her up and down. “You haven’t changed since middle school, zura,” she said almost appreciatively. “You still have that cute side bun thing”--Hanamaru demonstrated by making a ball with her fingers on the top of her head-- “even now!”

 

Yoshiko folded her arms, trying to retain what little composure she still had left. “Y-yeah? Well, you still have…” Her eyes travelled over Hanamaru’s head. “Hair,” she ended dumbly.

 

The red-haired girl behind her made a noise that was either one of confusion or a laugh, Yoshiko couldn’t tell.

 

“Ah!” Hanamaru turned to the girl and clasped her wrist gently. The girl squeaked. “This is Ruby-chan. We’ve been friends since middle school, zura,” she explained.

 

“Oh, um.” Yoshiko nodded at Ruby, awkwardly meeting her eyes. “It’s nice to meet you.”

 

Ruby averted her gaze and ducked her head. “Y-you too,” she mumbled, her face reddening. She quickly sidestepped behind Hanamaru.

 

Yoshiko wished _she_ could duck her head too. _‘Seeing her embarrassed makes_ me _embarrassed…’_

 

Oblivious to the situation, Hanamaru hummed in approval. “Then, can we eat lunch together, Yoshiko-chan?” she asked, lifting up her wrapped bento hopefully.

 

Yoshiko’s jaw dropped. Nobody had _ever_ asked her that before! “A-are you… Are you _sure?”_ she questioned in a shaky voice.

 

Hanamaru tilted her head. “Yes, zura.”

 

“Are you doubly, _triply_ sure?!” Yoshiko repeated, aghast.

 

Ruby emerged from behind Hanamaru. “Um, you don’t have to if you don’t want to…”

 

Yoshiko hastily shook her head. “N-no, it’s fine!” She shoved her bento in front of their faces. _“Let’s eat!”_ she proclaimed in the best, forced English she could manage. She almost added a ‘little demons’ onto the end, but quickly bit it back.

 

She was glad because both of them smiled. Hanamaru turned to Ruby. “Do you wanna eat outside, Ruby-chan?”

 

Ruby nodded shyly. “Yes, please. This is kind of...” She trailed off, glancing around the packed classroom.

 

“Then how about the roof? There probably won’t be many people there.” Yoshiko offered tentatively. She paused. “Wait, this school _does_ have a roof, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Ruby confirmed. She held a contemplative finger against her chin. “We’re allowed to eat there, I think.”

 

Hanamaru clapped her hands together in glee. “Okay! Then let’s go, zura!” Ruby and Yoshiko exchanged a brief shared look and a watery smile before nodding together.

 

The roof was, as Yoshiko had predicted, fairly empty, if not for the few students sparsely dotted around the area. Hanamaru stretched her hands out, letting out a pleasurable sigh as she rested back against the chainlink fence. Yoshiko stared at her in awe. She wished _she_ could be that relaxed all the time.

 

Ruby smiled as she unwrapped her bento. “It’s nice up here, isn’t it?”

 

“Sure is, zura!” Hanamaru agreed heartily, exhaling.

 

Yoshiko pulled apart her chopsticks and glanced at the two girls carefully. “Didn’t you two ever go the roof in your old school?” she asked, trying to make conversation.

 

“Not very much,” Ruby said. “We usually skipped lunch and ate together after school.”

 

“Dia-san got angry at us though when she found out.” Hanamaru chuckled under her breath. “We’d rush through lunch after that in the classroom.”

 

“Dia-san?” Yoshiko repeated questioningly.

 

“That’s my sister,” Ruby replied, looking down at her food. Hanamaru shifted next to her, and for a split second Yoshiko wondered if she’d said the wrong thing, but then Ruby’s face broke into a bashful smile. “She’s the student council president this year! She’s amazing!”

 

Yoshiko raised her eyebrows. She couldn’t imagine someone related to the meek, shy Ruby being the student council president. She waved her hand, trying to change the topic. “Wow. I could never do something like that. It’s just… so much responsibility.”

 

“Right?” Hanamaru responded, seeming equally as eager to change the subject. “I’m way too clumsy for something like that, zura.”

 

“I think you’d both make great presidents!” Ruby objected, clenching her fists determinedly.

 

Yoshiko huffed. “Nah, I’m already a stuttering mess as it is. Can you imagine giving speeches and stuff like that?” she groaned, resting her hand against her head.

 

Ruby hummed her understanding, but Hanamaru blinked at her slowly. “Your introduction was pretty good though.”

 

Yoshiko decided not to mention how she’d spend the whole of yesterday practicing her lines in the mirror. “R-really? Thanks.”

 

Ruby sighed. “Mine wasn’t very good…”

 

“People will forget about it, zura,” Hanamaru reassured, patting the other girl’s shoulder. “We have three years ahead of us!”

 

“Hanamaru’s right. First impressions aren’t something to worry over,” Yoshiko lied.

 

“I guess so,” Ruby said, twiddling her thumbs. She looked at Hanamaru, who was still leisurely leaning back against the fence. “By the way, Hanamaru-chan, aren’t you going to eat?”

 

“Huh?” Hanamaru’s eyes flickered open, and she gasped at the sight of the other two’s unwrapped bentos. “Oh no!” She clamped one hand over her mouth and began to tug at the fabric with the other hand. “I forgot!” she moaned in dismay, hurriedly breaking her chopsticks apart and attacking the food with uncharacteristic vigor.

 

Ruby started to giggle, and Yoshiko felt the small tracings of a genuine smile begin to lift her lips.

 

* * *

 

The day passed through as wonderfully as they could go for Yoshiko, with absolutely nothing bad happening to her, which was _definitely_ a first. She spent the whole bus ride with a dumb smile on her face as she reflected on the day’s events -- she was pretty sure she was friends with Hanamaru and Ruby, now; Ruby had timidly asked if they could eat together the next day too -- and the message from Sakura only crossed her mind once she was rummaging in her bag for her keys.

 

“Oh,” was what she said as she slowly, almost _reluctantly,_ dragged out her phone.

 

 **biichisukecchi:** Hey, I’m moving house today. Fun, right? I’m moving to a pretty small town, but it’s near the ocean. I thought you’d want to know that I’m going to continue playing the piano again. I feel like the ocean will help me get my inspiration back, maybe.

 

 _‘Well that’s good for you,’_ Yoshiko typed out, before quickly deleting it. Passive aggressiveness was petty, irritating, and most of all, simply not her style.

 

 _‘That’s good to hear,’_ was her reply instead. She didn’t write it in ill will and it certainly didn’t convey any of her proper emotions _(‘can we please just be friends again? i’m so sorry’)_ , but it was what was best for her. She was moving on, she thought, from both Yohane and Sakura.

 

Yoshiko switched off her phone and stuffed it back into her bag.

 

* * *

 

Not so far away-- in fact, barely a few metres away from Yoshiko’s regular bus stop-- a girl stood on the pier, simply watching the ocean. The only things disturbing the peace were the crashes of the waves and the occasional caw of a seagull, so when the girl’s phone buzzed in her blazer pocket, she flinched. She hastily pulled the phone out.

 

 **yohane:** thats good to hear

 

Riko’s eyebrows tightened, and she let out a heavy sigh. She’d been trying to pick up the remaining pieces of their friendship, not that there were many to begin with, but it was impossible to glue them back together with only her hands.

 

Was it time to move on?

 

Riko steeled her mouth. She carefully deposited her phone in her pocket and began to undo the front of her blazer. Once that was off, next came her ribbon. She stared down at the surface of the ocean. It wasn’t rough, but it didn’t look particularly… appealing either.

 

 _‘This is a stupid idea,’_ the more sane part of herself quipped. _‘You’re going to get yourself a cold. Again.’_

 

 _‘Do it,’_ the other part urged. _‘Do it for the piano. That’s your everything, isn’t it?’_

 

Riko gritted her teeth and tore open the buttons of her shirt. Her skirt came flying off, and she charged over the rest of the pier, letting out a battle cry as she did so.

 

For better or worse, she didn’t notice the presence of the orange haired girl until they were both falling, their limbs thrashing and flailing around each other as they screamed.

 

She found herself on the beach shore soon after that, shivering in the girl’s towel and her own swimsuit. She didn’t have to turn around to realise that the girl was practically staring through her in her curiosity.

 

The girl eventually cracked. “Why?” she asked.

 

Riko wasn’t sure how to respond. _‘I’ve lost all of my musical ability and confidence so I thought that throwing myself into the sea would help me because that’s what my intuition says,’_ didn’t sound right to her.

 

“I wanted to hear the sound of the ocean,” Riko finally replied.

 

“The sound of the ocean?” The girl cocked her head inquisitively. “Why?”

 

Riko fell silent. She didn’t particularly want to tell this girl-- no, _anyone_ about her failure at the competition.

 

The girl thankfully picked up on her reluctance and sighed in defeat. “Alright, I won’t ask anymore.” She rubbed the towel against her cheek in thought before suddenly perking up. “You mean the sounds in the water?”

 

Riko almost laughed at that, although it came out as more of a half-hearted huff. “I’m composing a piano piece, and I can’t grasp the image of an oceanic sound,” she explained vaguely.

 

“Wow, you’re writing music?” the girl exclaimed delightedly. “I’m impressed that you can compose music.”  

 

Riko smiled wanly. “Yeah. Well, I could…” she trailed off, digging her nails deep into her arms. She wasn’t too sure why she was telling this weird girl anything. “I also thought the ocean would help me get my muse back.”

 

“Muse?” The girl brightened, hopping over and plunking herself down next to Riko. “Oh yeah -- do you know any school idols?”

 

Riko turned her head around to face her for the first time. “School idols?” The words sounded foreign, just barely rolling off her tongue.

 

“Yeah!” The weird girl frowned, as if knowing about school idols was common knowledge. “I guess you wouldn’t really know about them since you’re here in Uchiura, though...”

 

“I’m from Tokyo,” Riko mumbled, pulling her knees tighter to her chest. She’d thought it’d be obvious from her uniform; there weren’t that many schools in this town, right?

 

The weird girl blinked back at her, momentarily confused, before her face sprung back into a wide smile. “Oh, really? Tokyo has lots of famous groups, don’t they?”

 

Riko’s brow furrowed. She didn’t know the first thing about… whatever this weird girl was speaking about, and her habit of bouncing from topic to topic wasn’t helping in the slightest. “What are you talking about?” she asked bluntly.

 

“Huh?” The weird girl seemed at a loss for the first time.

 

Riko stared into her magenta eyes, waiting for the weird girl’s next move. The weird girl was, well -- _weird,_ but not in a bad way. In a way that kept her mind moving every second.

 

Something in the back of her mind gestured at the memory of a certain, _very_ weird fallen angel, but she shoved it away just as quickly as it had popped up. Yohane had made it very clear that she had no intention of rekindling their friendship.

 

The girl sprang to her feet, waving her arms energetically as she began lecturing her about 'school idols'. Riko flinched and looked away from those passionate, magenta eyes. She sucked in a deep, shuddering breath, and tried to focus on the rising lilt of the girl's voice instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ack, this chapter took over a month to finish... sorry about that. i had a lot of trouble writing this. it's twice as long as usual if that makes up for anything.
> 
> (by the way, for those who write, i'd recommend getting grammarly! it's an excellent spellchecker, one of the best out there imo, and it also helps me crush all those unnecessary commas i add literally everywhere. it's compatible with ao3 too~)

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god a multi chapter fic. what have i done to myself


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